Men Are Sharing Things They Wish More Women Had Sympathy For
by Fabiana Buontempo · BuzzFeedI love nothing more than finding a Reddit thread from a man's POV explaining something that women might not understand. This time, men are sharing things they wish women knew or had more sympathy for, and I don't know how I feel about some of these. Here is what they said:
1. "That humans are sensitive creatures, plain and simple. Men are just as sensitive as women but can be socially conditioned to perceive this as a weakness and close it off. Men can quickly lean towards anger or bravado as defense mechanisms, but if you peel back the layers of any person, inside is a sensitive inner child that grew older. They have fears, hopes, needs. A man cannot be a stoic monolith; he needs support and encouragement as well as a place to feel safe and vulnerable."
2. "At 30, if you’re still single, life is incredibly lonely. My life has been reduced to working 10s, going to the gym, eating, and sleeping on weekdays. Sometimes I feel like a rat. It’s like an endless grind for money and corporate, working on my body to attract someone."
3. "Male struggles. Every time I have ever brought up the struggles men face in the modern world with a woman, she has played the victim card and told me (maybe not directly) that my problems don't matter and my life is easy."
4. "This is a 'some women' deal: I wish more people (in general) realized that 'men' and 'women' aren't teams. Just like I don't have to back up everything a guy does because I'm a guy, you don't automatically have to back up a woman because you're both women."
5. "I wish more women would not confuse indifference with intimidation. Most men are indifferent to your income, education, or status, and we really could care less because we know it does not affect us at all."
6. "That most nerdy guys aren't going to go feral trying to get with you because you talk about liking the same stuff we do or interact with us sincerely in a way that we might expect from other guys or the ones we hang with."
"Talking about struggles/problems that might be more unique to men isn't some attack on what women or LGBTQ+ peeps go through, for that matter. Or any talk about our negative experiences with women or anything related to women that might offend them. Most of the time, we just want things to be better between men and women, and it can't really be talked about, and some women dig in their heels when it comes to personal accountability.
We don't need to be given the 101 of what women go through in every instance where it seems relevant. Especially with how every woman we know (our mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, friends, etc has dealt with varying levels of it). We are much more understanding, respectful, open, etc, than you might think. We aren't unsympathetic if we don't respond to something like it's our first time hearing about it every single time. We know that other people will cover that base and want to be more direct with helping or something like that."
7. "Women want us to share our feelings with them, then they mock us when we do."
"Or think that they know our emotions better than we do, or act like we are monsters for expressing them in a way they don't like that's not directed at them."
8. "For me, it boils down to wanting to be wanted too. Women put in effort, and they look nice. We say so, sometimes more than once. We put in effort, and I might get a 'handsome' thrown my way, but that’s basically the end of it. I’ll buy flowers, flirt, hold doors, open car doors, and all of which involves telegraphing. I respect you, and I’m attracted to you. Attention is lavished basically on the female. Apart from physical intimacy (maybe), what’s the reciprocation? I find that challenging, but maybe it’s just me."
9. "Men are not stupid and insensitive creatures. We have feelings, too. Sometimes, when females do hurtful things or say hurtful things to us, it hurts us, even though we don't point it out in front of your face, because we don't want to escalate the issue. We don't want to get into your gaslighting rabbit holes."
10. "He wants his romantic partner to be deeply interested in what he's doing if he tells them or not."
"I will say with my relationships, the women who were interested in me and showed me their interest in me every day made our relationship so much better and stronger. I had a woman who, if home when I got off work, would walk out the house and meet me before I got to the door just to throw her hands around my neck, give me a big kiss, and ask how my day was. Because of that, I wanted to talk to her and tell her. The little things mean a lot."