Hacks Recap: A Nerd Being a Loser

Hacks
QuikScribbl
Season 5 Episode 6
Editor’s Rating ★★★★
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Construction is underway at The Diva! Just a couple of issues which can totally, definitely be resolved to the tune of $20 million (conservative estimate). Allegedly a “ton” would be saved if Deborah did not insist on having a massive statue of herself at the entrance — including an underwear mirror where people will be taking upskirt selfies which Deborah is convinced will be “a destination unto itself” — but honestly I feel like, compared to the cost of redoing the entire HVAC system, the statue is hardly the line-item putting this over the edge. Anyway, it’s time to raise some funds: Marcus suggests booking a headliner for the comedy venue so that advance ticket sales start pouring in, and Deborah sets out to find an outside investor. 

Deborah sends Jimmy and Kayla on the hunt for the headliner—Deborah insists she’s not the one to do it; her residency days are behind her — and the two make a play to sign Bruno Fox (Sean Patton), a podcaster, standup, and Travelocity spokesguy. Unfortunately for Kayla and Jimmy, Bruno is represented by Kayla’s father’s firm; you may recall the atmosphere there was, to use the technical term, toxic. The assholes representing Bruno take the meeting only to be fratty pricks about the whole thing; Jimmy and Kayla, defiant, decide to go straight to Bruno and present the offer directly. 

It becomes clear basically immediately that Bruno has a drinking problem, but Jimmy and Kayla push through their doubts to the tune of Kayla’s renditions of Nelly Furtado songs. Giddy off tequila and just a little bit of coke, Bruno agrees to the residency but insists Jimmy and Kayla stick around for a second night of partying. While all the signs are there on night one — from Bruno’s aggressive boozing to Kayla’s all-over itching — that all is not right in Kalamazoo, Jimmy and Kayla don’t anticipate just how bad things are going to get. And I’ll admit: neither did I! 

On night two, they decide to drink Long Island Iced Teas (red flag, red flag) and play the relationship-ruining game from The Drama, where everyone reveals the worst thing they’ve ever done. Jimmy’s is predictably tame (a light retail grift involving free samples from Sephora); Kayla’s takes a bit of a turn (poking holes in your dad’s condoms only to have him get his mistress pregnant instead of her mom so now she has a weird half-brother… oh boy!); but nothing prepares them for Bruno’s drunken confession that he I Know What You Did Last Summer’ed someone, literally killing a man in a hit and run to which he never confessed. (Well, he was probably hoping it was an IKWYDLS situation, but in this case, it would appear this victim actually died and did not live to stalk/haunt him forever. Bruno is haunted only by guilt.) Jimmy squeals that Bruno needs to think of the family, and somehow this is the moment that gets Bruno to see he can’t live like this anymore!! Time to call 911!! A perfect line-reading from Meg Stalter here: “I’m Kayla Schaffer, and I’m reporting a murder that my friend did.”

Not to minimize murder or anything, but I will say that for me, the far more triggering event of the episode comes later, when Jimmy wakes up naked to discover that the hotel in which he and Kayla are staying has bedbugs. As a bedbug survivor, I needed this episode to have like ten thousand trigger warnings!! IYKYK and IYK, you are NOT alone!!! Let’s escape from these horrors to my other personal nightmare/nemesis: AI.

Because we live in a dystopian hellscape masquerading as a normal reality, the person most likely to have the kind of money Deborah seeks is a douchey tech bro. While taste-testing food at a restaurant owned by Marty, from whom Deborah will absolutely poach a chef if she must, Marcus reports that Graham Sweeney (Alex Moffat) has requested a meeting with Deborah and Ava. Despite only being at the restaurant to represent “flyover state taste,” Ava leaps to the conclusion that this is “an Indecent Proposal situation.” (Sidebar: My favorite joke of the episode might have been Deborah’s reaction to Ava saying cold plunges help Joe Rogan: “Help him do what?”)

Ava arrives at the meeting in fabulous ‘80s glam — hair sprayed to the heavens, a dress in which she cannot breathe — and clomps around in her heels to meet a man whose idea of business attire is, barf, a fleece vest over a button-down. WHY ARE THEY ALL LIKE THAT? Graham made his money doing something totally normal (streamlining how hospitals buy and sell… tubes? lol) and is so excited for his next venture: An LLM generative AI model, QuikScribbl. Yes, he’s currently “scraping” (stealing) material from the internet, but he’d much rather compensate Deborah for her voice. Deborah is charmed; Ava wants to kill herself. 

As a proud hater of AI myself — like I WILL ruin a party if someone starts talking about how they use ChatGPT to make their grocery lists or ask Claude how to write their stupid emails or whatever; I’ve done it before, and I’ll be doing it forever! — I, of course, am team Ava here. Even though there were several moments in this episode where I felt like they were just doing an anti-AI PSA at us through the screen, I actually did not mind because it was so cathartic to hear these arguments articulated with such verve by both Ava and (eventually) Deborah, women who do not always see eye-to-eye on such matters. (If you haven’t already, I highly recommend checking out Hannah Einbender’s perfect rant about how people who make AI are losers!)

Deborah and Ava have it out. In front of Graham, Ava argues against the “forced inevitability” of AI, a convenient thing for the very jerks who are forcing AI onto everyone to keep insisting upon. In the morning, Ava won’t even come downstairs to work with Deborah because she’s too busy researching the ethics of AI. “Turns out: Really bad.” I love that Deborah has not lost her rude, hard edges, despite her tenderness for Ava (“You want me to WHITEWASH my MANICURIST?” really got me, as did “Come on, I sold my Malaysian palm oil farm, can’t I have this?”). 

Deborah’s belief/delusion is that “if you’re good, you can’t be replaced,” which, of course, (1) presumes that the people in power even KNOW what’s good and can tell the difference between real quality and something mediocre, or even care to. And (2) misses the point that to become good, you have to get your reps in, which no one is going to be able to do in a world where employers are relying on AI for every entry-level task. Ava, correctly, describes this as a “cataclysmic reshaping of our society that is going to doom us” and says she will sue Deborah if she uses any of the work to which Ava contributed. As Ava has learned from her mentor, you can sue even if you have no legal standing. God bless America!

Deborah is content to move forward without Ava’s work, but Graham accidentally talks her out of it by glibly suggesting Deborah will soon be using his AI to write her own material. In having to articulate, to this moron, that the whole fucking point of the creative process is the creative process and that trying to “optimize” it is inane and vile. Which brings to mind the great David Simon, creator of The Wire, in response to a question from NPR about using AI to generate ideas for scene transitions: “I’d rather put a gun in my mouth.” Deborah realizes that she does, in fact, agree with Ava. (I’m surprised Ava didn’t take this angle from the start since it’s not like Deborah is all that invested in fighting climate change, but whatever!) Loved the little moment where Deborah asks this clown to do something else with his tech, like try to cure cancer, and he replies, “Oh my God, cancer again.”

Deborah, firmly on the side of art and artists — and YES, she is counting her laser hair removal joke as art, who cares if she’s being pretentious — backs out of the deal. Welcome to the right side of history, Deborah!! So great to have you! Ava is overjoyed, even though Deborah claims her decision was not about any of Ava’s arguments re: the environment, morality, etc. “This was an amoral decision based on a NERD being a LOSER to me.”

Okay, I think I’ve had enough space from the bedbug incident to return to Jimmy and Kayla. Dressed in fits from a teen clothing store for girls, Sassafras, because they burned all their clothes in a drunken, bedbug-fearing rage (relatable!!!), they return to the airport parking lot to find Kayla’s car getting towed… by her DAD. His idea of a sick burn — “You look like two Hannah Montanas” — doesn’t intimidate Jimmy, who points out, correctly, that “Hannah Montana was two people, you fucking moron.” Now to the real issue: Kayla’s dad knew about Bruno’s hit and run, and he’s livid that his daughter didn’t leverage the secret. Has he taught her nothing?? Disgusted with the person she’s become, Mr. Schaffer tells his baby girl that her trust fund is gone, as is her fancy office and, of course, the Porsche.

Well, downsizing is very on-theme: Deborah has decided to scale way back at The Diva — including letting go of the statue — and doesn’t envision a big theater anymore. The new concept: A proper comedy club, intimate and old school. Let up-and-comers hone their voices. Who would’ve thought she’d get such a good idea by arguing with that annoying nerd? You never know what’s going to spark your creativity! Ideas can come from anywhere if you aren’t a loser who uses AI instead of your own wild, strange, specific brain!!!