The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip Recap: Alter Egos

The Real Housewives: Ultimate Girls Trip
To Peach Her Own
Season 5 Episode 5
Editor’s Rating ★★★★
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To know me is to know The Real Housewives. The show is fused into my life, and not just through work when I’m recapping The Real Housewives of Atlanta, but because of the memes, references, and reaction videos that are now an extension of my personality. I’ve been watching since I was 14, so when I say “these are the mothers who raised me,” I mean it. And there’s a whole generation of girlies like me who’ve followed these ladies through our adolescence into adulthood. For us, witnessing the different cities coming together is like when we’d bring our favorite dolls to our best friend’s house — we’d get to mix and match their outfits and shoes to create a Frankenstein diva of fabulosity.

And what a treat it is to recap this episode, especially for me, since Nene Leakes and the rest of the Atlanta women are my favorite dolls to play with. Nene’s grand return to Bravo continues as we watch the rest of the Alter Ego Party tonight. The heavyweights of Atlanta filter in, with Marlo Hampton arriving in a garbage truck (which I’m assuming is a callback to her “You’re trash!” comment to Kenya) dressed as a very rich Cruella, and Cynthia Bailey blesses us with another 50-Cynt appearance. As Cynthia did the first time that she donned the bulletproof vest and du-rag in season 10, she stays in character all night with the women ogling over the one drop of testosterone in a bucket of estrogen. Luann and Heather especially cozy up to 50-Cynt, proving that Cynthia has the type of beauty only a woman should have access to — if she and Leon had a son, he and his cheekbones would be a problem. 

Next, Kim Zolciak and her wig arrive with a red solo cup in hand, trailed by the invisible elephant in the room that only we viewers can see, as we know that currently, she’s got bigger things to worry about than Bravo nostalgia. Shereé Whitfield comes shortly after (screaming at the chyron listing all the times she was fired and rehired; it stutters through the years the same way she stuttered through her most memorable lines), and while neither she nor Kim is technically in an alter ego costume, they don’t really need to be, because their likenesses have become so iconic their presence is a character in itself. This is true for the franchise as a whole; RHOA is the city that turned Housewives into a sport that requires real skill and charisma. Before Atlanta, the girls weren’t judged as heavily based on their reads or confessional assassin abilities. Hell, those white ladies didn’t know what a “read” was.

The cast’s Blackness is a huge part of this — signifying is in their blood — but the impact spread across the whole franchise. And no one set this new standard better than Nene Leakes. Now that the rest of her cast has arrived (it was so great to see Derek J! I wish Dwight and Miss Lawrence could’ve come, too. They were so instrumental in the early years and deserve flowers as well), Nene makes her third appearance on Ultimate Girls Trip with a second grand entrance. Carried in on a throne held up by shirtless men, Bravo’s prodigal daughter takes the mic to speak to the crowd and reminisce on her ups and downs as an Atlanta Housewife.

OG Lisa Wu, who snuck in with Shereé, loses her mind at not being mentioned in the speech, and she makes her dissatisfaction clear as soon as Nene steps off the stage. She confronts Nene about the snub, and a glimmer of Naynay comes out. Gizelle might’ve been spared the shade at the drag show, but Lisa Wu gets it head-on as Nene goes on about how inconsequential both the slip-up and Lisa’s feelings about it are. She slinks away, saying, “I don’t do these kinds of scenes.” A diva! 

From Nene and Lisa Wu going at it, to Porsha and Candiace trading fake niceties, and Lisa Barlow tussling with her cast, the musical-chair dynamics of the crossover element grow more apparent in tonight’s episode. I especially like seeing how the first-generation Housewives cities interact compared to the second generation. Like Candiace said to Barlow, cities like SLC, Potomac, and now Rhode Island are carrying the torch that Atlanta, Beverly Hills, Orange County, and New York lit. But to Porsha’s point about Candiace, sometimes these newer cities tend to lean more into the caricature of being a Real Housewife than show up organically and try to build a sisterhood. That brings more manufactured drama and higher stakes, often at the cost of real friendship. That’s part of the disappointment I feel with Gizelle’s pointed exclusion of Candiace. 

Gizelle, who has been stirring the pot and playing producer for everyone on the trip, keeps up her conniving ways by sitting down all the RHOP ladies except for Candiace during their Potomac retrospective moment at the party. Kadooze to Candiace for plopping right down on the couch and jumping into the conversation instead of letting the snub ruin being a part of the anniversary celebration. They reminisce on Potomac’s greatest hits, including Karen losing control of her wig and Gizelle’s shady Free Uncle Ben T-shirt at Karen’s “press conference.” And Gizelle’s behavior is still just as petty as when she made that shirt. Couldn’t she put the gloves down for one night? For the sake of the milestone moment, at least? But with the newer franchises, the deepest wounds are still fresh, so unlike Kim Zolciak and Nene, opposing parties in those cities are having a harder time celebrating the sisterhood of it all.

For Lisa Barlow, it’s even worse, as the SLC reunion was airing at the time of filming Girls Trip. She managed to avoid Whitney and Bronwyn at Kyle’s white party, but Heather, drunk and sanctimonious (and probably jealous that she wasn’t picked as the OG to represent Salt Lake), is a different beast. The last episode ended with Heather sloppily approaching Lisa while Lisa’s Ultimate Girls Trip buddies hovered on the sidelines, ready to defend their new friend. Now, Lisa crosses paths with Angie K., and they start hashing out their post-reunion feelings as Teresa holds onto her hand, confused but determined to be there for her girl. Lisa says Angie’s comment about her (alleged) facelift was some “mean girl shit,” just as camera-thirsty Heather slithers into the conversation. Heather throws out that the way Lisa treats her is mean-girl behavior, and sarcastically says it’s impossible to fathom how Lisa looks so good without a facelift.

Then, Heather flips the script on Lisa by mentioning Lisa’s accusation that Angie’s husband was involved with circle jerks. In that moment, Kyle and Teresa get to experience the absurdity and taboo that emanates from RHOSLC with their proximity to swinging, polygamy, step-granddaddy marriages, and now, circle jerk parties. As the drama with Salt Lake City climaxes, the rest of the Girls Trip women start to wonder if there’s more to the story than Lisa let on. Gizelle complains that it’s always something with them, and, after the circle-jerk conversation, Kyle declares that she’s no longer going to play referee for RHOSLC. Lisa walks away from the interaction on the verge of tears, but it’s not until the next day, when the cast and crew are leaving for Miami, that the group’s opinion of Lisa begins to change.

Before the Girls Trip women meet Lisa’s darker side, they say goodbye to Atlanta and wrap up the Alter Ego party. Vicki doesn’t make it to the end because she hates her outfit and no one is talking to her. Oh brother, here comes Debbie Downer again. And as if she isn’t already fighting accusations of white woman ignorance just by existing as Vicki Gunvalson, she says, “I’ve never liked to wear wigs,” referring to the limp brunette bob barely hanging onto her head. I doubt she intended it microaggressively (though her comment about not watching RHOA at all is a different story…), but speaking like that about wigs in Atlanta of all places is teetering on blasphemy! This is why people think you’re a Karen! No one tries to stop her from leaving because, by now, they’re used to her being the wet blanket. But Vicki’s insufferable attitude is nothing compared to Lisa’s selfishness by the end of the episode.

To get to their next stop in Miami, they must beat out a snowstorm to make their flight, or else they’ll be stuck traveling by bus. Hours go by, and their takeoff inches closer and closer with no word from Lisa Barlow. Once she finally moseys onto the bus as if she has all the time in the world, they’ve been waiting for her for almost an hour. Gizelle swiftly cuts through the bullshit; Lisa hardly has both feet planted on the bus before Gizelle brusquely asks why she’s late. Lisa never responds well to being accosted, so with a swift application of lip gloss while she pulls on her sunglasses, her armor goes up, and she goes full-on Baby Gorgeous. This is her real alter ego, not playing Cowgirl Barbie with Kyle.

Gizelle sternly tells her to apologize to the group, but Lisa refuses, saying she believes in genuine apologies, not ones forced out of her. She’s combative and without remorse, giving a glimpse into some of the factors contributing to her status with the rest of her cast. Everyone else is confused about why Lisa can’t say she’s sorry and move forward, and Lisa’s excuses about getting up early to pack and waiting for her glam team’s ride don’t help her case. She chalks it up to having differing “styles of travel.” By the time they get to their hotel in Miami, Lisa’s behavior leaves a bad taste lingering in their mouths. Gizelle, Luann, and Porsha debrief about the disrespect, agreeing that now they’re starting to better understand Lisa’s costar’s perspective. Sure, Lisa’s antics are rude, but my goodness, is it entertaining to see her have to defend herself in the big leagues. Between Lisa’s defiance, as Porsha puts it, and Luann’s pending narcissistic meltdown (her delusions of grandeur will always tickle me), I can’t wait to see how things heat up in Miami.