The Real Housewives of New York City Recap: Thank God for Planned Parenthood

The Real Housewives of New York City
Coming Clean
Season 15 Episode 9
Editor’s Rating ★★★★★
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I have said it before, and I will probably say it again: Erin Mew Mew Lichy sucks! Why is it true in this episode? Because just as I was the most angry at her as I have been in our short tenure together, she turned it all around and did something that maybe doesn’t make me like her, but very much made me respect her. 

Let’s start with going beat by beat about how angry she makes me and how she is entirely wrong in this whole confrontation about the Prank that happens at Ubah’s Pigeon Picnic. I feel it’s necessary to do this because no one ever tells Erin she’s wrong, and she certainly never thinks it, so I will do the universe a service (before the second half of this recap where I totally reverse it). 

After Brynn, licking both dick-shaped and vulva-shaped lollipops, starts some stupid game where they go around talking about the rumors about each of the women on the cast, Racquel then asks Erin why Erin didn’t tell her that Brynn was in on the prank about Becky Minkoff’s pregnancy by another man. Erin denies that Brynn was in on the prank. 

Brynn then says that at drinks after lunch with Jessel, Erin told her that Becky was pregnant but told her the part about it being from another man was false. Brynn then says that she told Erin she was going to take her prank to the next level, but Erin says that is not true. Since we all know that Brynn exaggerates like Donald Trump surveying his crowd size, while I believe that Erin told her that the thing about the mysterious father is a lie, Brynn didn’t necessarily tell her that she was going to “make Erin’s prank better,” as she says. 

In confessional, Erin says that this whole thing is a great way to see how Brynn changes stories. WRONG! It is not because Brynn went in there knowing that at least part of the story was fake and exaggerating it because she thought she had some kind of mandate to manipulate this situation to make it even juicier. Brynn was doing just what Erin was doing, creating a scandalous story and then spreading it around as some kind of joke. If Brynn is guilty, then Erin is also guilty. The two of them are on the world’s most rotten ship and must go down together. 

Erin yells at everyone to shut up so she can speak. WRONG! This is not how you treat people, period, and it is also not how you treat a group you are trying to get on your side. Erin tells them that Brynn wasn’t in on the prank because she only knew the part about the fake father, but she didn’t know the pregnancy wasn’t real. WRONG! The whole prank is about the mysterious father. If the news was just that Becky was pregnant, that’s good news, that’s nice news, that’s news that you congratulate her on and share because it’s a blessing. Without the part about the fake father then there is no prank, therefore Brynn was in on the prank. Jenna also agrees, saying in confessional, “That Erin says Brynn wasn’t in on the prank because she knew one part but didn’t know the other makes no sense to me.” See, Erin. WRONG! 

Then Erin tells the group, “I didn’t know this would be the topic of discussion at dodgeball.” WRONG! If she didn’t think this would be the topic of conversation, then why start the prank? If she didn’t want people sharing this story ASAP, then she would have come up with a much more boring rumor, like Becky buys her panties at Target or something like that. Then Erin turns it at Racquel and says she doesn’t like that she came at her with an accusation rather than with a question. WRONG! What Erin is mad about is that Racquel’s accusation was right and accurate, and if it is true, it is not an accusation, which makes it a fact. Erin doesn’t like facts because she can’t mold them to fit her outlook on life, where she is always right and perfect, and her hair is always bouncy. (Damn it, her hair is always bouncy.) 

Erin apologizes to Brynn, saying she was in on the prank, but then says she’s mad at Racquel for bringing it up. WRONG! If what she did to Brynn was so wrong that she had to apologize for it, then Racquel was totally correct in bringing it up in the first place. She has no place being mad at Racquel for doing the right thing. Then Erin says that it was not a test, it was a prank. She says she told people, meaning Brynn and Jessel, that she thought would be “cool and chill about it.” WRONG! If she thought they were going to be cool and chill about it and keep it to themselves, then it’s not a prank — it’s just misinformation. Also, that’s not how pranks work. The prank only works if they share it with everyone. The story was so good and unexpected because of how boring Becky is that, of course, they were going to tell everyone. How could they resist? She told the two people she thought were the biggest gossips so they could spread that rumor and then try to catch them out — it was much more of a test than a prank. 

So, in conclusion, Erin is WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! and everyone else is right, and for once I wish Erin would say she’s sorry, admit her prank wasn’t funny, and just let everyone move on. But the more she digs in the more she prolongs this whole thing and I feel like we’re going to be talking about this damn prank well into the second part of the reunion. (Please don’t let this reunion have three parts.) 

Before discussing how Erin is right, let us briefly detour to how Becky Minkoff is wrong about Scientology. When playing Brynn’s stupid rumor game, the topic comes up again, and Becky uses her old saw about how she’s Jewish as her religion, but Scientology is just “courses and counseling.” Oh, you mean the counseling where aspirants divulge all their darkest secrets that former church officials say the institution then uses to blackmail and intimidate members. That counseling? Sounds great. The women bring up the book and documentary Going Clear, and Becky says, “Do you go to the bigot of sorts to ask about things?” Okay, so everyone who doesn’t believe in Scientology or points out its bad behavior is a bigot? Um. If I talk about the Catholic church’s multiple sexual abuse scandals does that mean I’m a bigot? No. It means I know the truth. Luckily, everyone in confessional sort of comes out against Scientology, with Sai saying she doesn’t want to comment because she doesn’t want her phones tapped. Yeah, sounds like a great place, Becky. Let’s all sign up!

As much as it loathes me and I would rather talk about Jenna and Racquel flirting and how much I want there to be an inter-Housewives lesbian love affair, we have to discuss Erin being, ugh, right. At lunch with Jenna, she mentions she’s friends with the editor of Glamour magazine and how after the fall of Roe V. Wade she feels the need to share the story of her own abortion when she was 18-years-old and just at college. It’s a horrible and touching story where Erin just got to college, had no friends, found out she was pregnant, and had to seek out Planned Parenthood and got an abortion all alone without any support.

She’s totally right. The only way to destigmatize it, the only way to make girls not feel like they did something wrong by getting pregnant, just like Erin did, is for all of the women out there to share their stories, to destigmatize it, to make it seem like a normal medical procedure which it is. And the knock-on effect of Erin sharing her story is that other women share their stories. We see it in the episode. Erin says when she finally told her mother a year later, her mother told her she had an abortion as well. 

Right there at lunch, Jenna, who is usually more closed than the post office on Sunday, tells Erin about her abortion. She had just arrived in New York City, had just started her career, was totally broke, and knew she couldn’t raise a child. She also went to Planned Parenthood and thank all that is holy that both of these women had access, didn’t have to travel to another state, didn’t have to scrounge up the funds for a bus ticket, a shitty motel room, and a medical procedure possibly not covered by their insurance just so that they could have control over their bodies and control over their lives and what a fucked up country we live in where that access isn’t enshrined into law. (Well, I live in England, so I do live in that kind of country, but many Americans sure don’t.) 

As these two are sharing, not just with each other but with the world, it’s very inspiring … but perhaps also dangerous. Who knows what kind of backlash they’ll both get, but Jenna is right: for everyone who is upset, who tells them they will burn in hell, there are ten women who need to hear this, who will support them, and tell them that what they’re doing is the right thing. Heck, I’m not even a woman and know this is right. Erin says in her interview, “I just cannot go about my day knowing there is an 18-year-old girl who is terrified and alone and has nowhere to turn. That’s where I draw the line.” Ugh, how is Erin Mew Mew Lichy making me cry real tears at home on my couch? I do not like this, but also, I really, really, really like this and I’m glad RHONY took this unexpected turn.

The final scene of the episode is when Erin meets her father for scooped-out bagels (WRONG!) to tell him for the first time, 18 years later, about her abortion. She could have done all of this off-camera. She could have kept all of this to herself, but she didn’t and that is real and powerful and good and, ugh, Erin deserves our respect and admiration for it. Maybe she doesn’t suck so much after all. 

Again, as soon as she tells her father, not only does she get his support, but he shares that he once got a woman pregnant, and she had an abortion. So many people have gone through this, either personally or supporting someone who has, that it makes no sense we haven’t talked about this before. We’re nearly 20 years into Housewives and this is the first time it’s coming up and I am more proud to be a Bravo fan than ever. 

After the scene, we learn that four months later, Erin’s father, who didn’t seem well when they were filming, passed away. Here he is supporting his daughter, showing her love and support where she didn’t think she could get it, sharing his own stories, and making it a little bit easier for everyone who might need one of these procedures at some point. What a legacy to leave behind for Erin, her father, and the show. Finally, Erin did something RIGHT!