Noah Kahan Really Wishes You Wouldn’t Poop Your Pants at His Show

It’s the season of the sticks, but Noah Kahan doesn’t want logs loose at his shows. The singer made his fans swear a solemn oath to not “shit their pants” during his concert — because someone seemingly did shit their pants at Kahan’s Philadelphia stop last week so they wouldn’t miss out on the show. A fan posted a video that showed poop on the ground and then panned to Kahan onstage, prompting him to post a PSA asking fans to respect themselves and the arena workers, who did not sign up to pick up feces. “If you have to poop at a show please dear god just go to the bathroom lmao I’ve pooped my pants as much as the next 29 year old but you guys gotta understand there’s a venue worker out there with a 1000 yard stare after dealing with that,” Kahan posted. “I shit myself onstage in Charlottesville but that’s because I am dedicated to my craft.”

In the era of fans wearing diapers at concerts and artists smelling them, Kahan really wanted to get the point across that it’s okay to miss a song to dispose of your bowel movement appropriately. “I solemnly swear I will not shit my pants, and if I do, I won’t take it from my pants and put it on the floor,” he had the audience repeat at the Toronto concert a few nights later, to the arena workers’ delight.