Taylor Swift Is Not Getting Married in Bushwick

It’s hard to believe any published updates on Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s forthcoming wedding, in part because the most logical option is doing it on a deserted island that has a low chance of fan and/or paparazzi interference, but alleged plans for the Tayvis union continue apace. TMZ reports that the nuptials will take place in the “middle of Manhattan,” which both is and isn’t a real thing. This doesn’t tell us much we don’t already know. Did anyone think that Swift would have her wedding in Queens or Brooklyn? It’s possible she fell in love with Bushwick when she joined Kelce there for a wedding in May, but it doesn’t seem like her to celebrate at Nowadays. The “middle of Manhattan,” however, could apply to multiple neighborhoods with several big venues, ranging from (maybe the bottom of) Central Park to Madison Square Garden (the only place that might fit the ambitious invite list) to Radio City Music Hall to Lincoln Center. Okay, a Lincoln Center wedding would actually be really cute.

The “middle of Manhattan” is vague enough to obscure details and plant Easter eggs — Swift’s two favorite things — but we wondered what that actually meant geographically speaking. According to New York city editor Christopher Bonanos, cartographers often measure distance to and from the city from Columbus Circle, which is a possible option for Swift and Kelce, especially if they want to have their wedding by that one weird mall over there. Bonanos also mentioned Madonna’s story about her first trip to New York City, in which she instructed the cab driver to drop her off in “the middle of everything,” and he took her to Times Square. TS = Taylor Swift. TS = Times Square. It’s a part of the city that’s already so crazy that a star-studded wedding probably couldn’t make the area any more nuts, so I guess we’ll see them on July 3 at the M&M Store, saying “I do.”