Hacks Recap: New York or Nowhere

Hacks
Number One Fan
Season 5 Episode 2
Editor’s Rating ★★★★★
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Just in case you weren’t sure what the theme of the episode/season is, the song “New York Groove” is BLASTING as our crew strides through the streets of New York and even gets a good old-fashioned “I’m walkin’ here!!!!” moment with a yellow cab. NYC: the big banana! 

They’ve arrived in the office of Amanda, the Madison Square Garden booker, arms loaded with gifts — obviously not bribes!! It’s actually weird that you would think that? They would never! (“I have low blood sugar,” Jimmy explains from behind an absolutely massive fruit basket.)

While we’ve all heard the truism that it’s better to beg forgiveness than ask for permission, Amanda does not see it that way. Amanda was a little put off by the whole “Deborah announcing a show at Madison Square Garden before even checking with Madison Square Garden” thing. A person might say, “Wow, such moxie! Such VERVE! We love to see an ambitious woman!” Amanda is not that person. Amanda explains that Deborah is not “right” for MSG. Deborah is right for Radio City and Webster Hall. (Loved her reaction to Kayla’s disgusted reaction to Webster Hall: “Okay, I can tell you’re a whole [long pause] deal.”) Amanda says that being at MSG means being at the white-hot center of the cultural conversation. They can’t let just anyone perform there, even though, yes, technically tonight’s performance is by a true-crime podcast. She is unmoved by Deborah’s promises of delivering a historic night of speaking truth to power, and she is also unmoved by Deborah’s last-ditch attempt at a bribe.

The gang cannot even pretend Amanda doesn’t know what’s what. Deborah knows a full-grain leather in a sophisticated cut when she sees it. Ava concedes the point: “FINE, she’s rich, cool, and ruining our lives!!” Deborah realizes this scrappy group needs reinforcements: It’s time to activate the Little Debbies! She will shower her fans with in-person affection so they start a grassroots campaign to get her MSG. 

This call, and the episode that follows, is an intriguing opportunity to meditate on the weird power dynamic between the stars and the civilians who parasocially love them. Deborah’s idea that her fandom is an army she can corral at will is almost as dated as her notion that a late-night show is the peak for a comedian. Her fans — who feel abandoned by her but ultimately come around — want a level of accessibility from/intimacy with her that is, obviously, incompatible with the level of success they believe is her due. The more famous she becomes, the more distant she will, by necessity, be from the people who made her famous in the first place. It’s a tale as old as Hollywood. I’m sure Randi could tell them all about it! 

A perfect opportunity to execute Deborah’s plan is coming up in three weeks at a convention in Vegas, which Deborah clocks — immediately!!! Sorry, I am a sucker because this really moved me! — as conflicting with Ava’s birthday. This prompts Ava to bring up, awkwardly, that Deborah drunkenly derided Ava for having Deborah as her “only friend” the last day they were in Singapore. I am glad that’s coming up, because as much as I prefer to see these two united against the world, it would have been a little cheap to gloss over the tension entirely; Ava can say she doesn’t care what Deborah said when she was wasted, but is that really true? And what about sober Deborah’s thoughts on drunk Deborah’s tirade?

Also: After Kayla poses with a hot dog she does not eat, Ava almost takes it out of the trash, but then she doesn’t. Wow, growth!

Three weeks later: It’s Ava’s 30th birthday, and we’re at a convention of niche celebrities! The best gift of all, I’m pretty sure, is that Jimmy finished Ava’s Mall Girl script — it’s about a girl who lives at the mall, art imitating life! — and he “can’t wait to send it around.” I know that’s just agent-speak, but I think Jimmy really means it, no? Randi, whose excellence as an assistant knows no bounds, has a custom-made coffee tray with heaters and everything. God, she’s an inspiration. She will be their boss before the season is through.

Alas, Deborah’s crass attempt to extort her fans immediately goes sideways. While she was once the kind of low-rent celeb who was active on her own message boards, she has since neglected her Little Debbies, and most of them are only here to register their complaints to her face. Even Ezekiel is back, but it’s to RESIGN (!) as president of the fan club! “You haven’t sent out Deborah’s do’s and don’ts in two years,” one fan cries. “Sometimes I don’t do anything. I just sit in the dark.” She never published another book of “Dubokus,” “and the regular Sodokus are just too hard!” Also, there’s a rumor going around that Deborah is actually a lizard?! With her intensive skin-care routine, can you believe??

Deborah is bereft. Maybe she should start all over and get new fans? Babies are born every second! Finally, a fan shows up to be completely and beautifully earnest, but in so doing — showing Deborah a haunted-looking dried-bean portrait she made with her mom, who died before she could meet Deborah but would be so happy to know the dried-bean art made its way to her heroine — completely unravels Deborah, who slips out for some air and gets a pep talk from a wise blue alien. (It took me a minute, but this cerulean space mensch is ANN DOWD. I love that she is the only person/creature who can get through to Deborah!) 

Deborah confesses to the blue alien that she has forsaken her fandom, and their anger is righteous. But the blue alien tells Deborah she will be forgiven, even though she does not believe she deserves it. “Tell them what you need,” the blue alien advises. They want to feel needed! That’s actually all they want! Well, “that, and a T-shirt that only some people are allowed to get.” I loved this joke, but I do think we are eliding the darker side of modern fandoms, which is that a lot of them want to, like, completely own and control a stranger who is also their imaginary lover and/or best friend forever and ever.

Elsewhere at the convention, Jimmy chats up Billy Baldwin — who is so grateful to be invited to Deborah’s Fourth of July party every year, even though he never attends — and meets his childhood fave: Renee O’Connor, a.k.a. Gabrielle from Xena: Warrior Princess. (Randi doesn’t know who she is: She hasn’t gotten to TV yet! She’s still working her way through all the movies.) Even without a beta blocker, Jimmy bravely approaches. I feel like he does really well for someone so starstruck! He encourages her to do a rewatch podcast, and by the end of the episode, not only has she agreed, but: She’s texted Lucy Lawless, who is down to join; she’s asked Jimmy to represent her; and she’s handed Jimmy and Kayla 10 percent of what she made today in giant wads of cash. That’s not bad for a day’s work, baby!

Inspired by the blue alien, Deborah returns to her Little Debbies to tell them the truth: MSG says she’s not big enough to get her date. They are indignant on her behalf. “So the Knicks can play Madison Square Garden but not you? Misogynistic bullshit!” In a little side plot, a woman appears to be here for Ava — which, sorry, but in what world: Ava is not even niche-famous!!! — and Ava enjoys an afternoon of understanding why parasocial relationships are replacing real ones, only to have the floor kicked out from under her when the fan outs herself as a die-hard Little Debbie who was only sucking up to Ava to learn everything she could to replace her. Ahh, well. I still feel like the day was mostly a success.

Damien tells the crowd how they can reach Amanda at MSG. Deborah promises tickets will be $20 so everyone can afford to go, and she’s bringing back Deborah Plus, and “this year’s Christmas theme is fuchsia and cherry, the 1997 redux!!!” I love when they really lean into Deborah’s tacky roots. All praise to the blue alien for showing her the light!

The gang returns to Deborah’s, where — surprise! — it’s Ava’s 30th-birthday party! (Great moment where Ava is genuinely so frightened. She pulls it together pretty quickly, though!) Kiki is here, as is Ava’s mom and eighth-grade friend Jenny Reagan (Alyssa Limperis, a Vulture comedian to know!). I’m from New Jersey, so what do I know, but her accent sounds perfect to me. She married Greg Holland. “Remembah him? His cousin drowned in the quarry! Anyway, we have four kids undah 6.”

Deborah has pulled out all the stops, ordering Ava’s favorite foods (cupcakes from a queer bakery, Bertucci’s rolls) and summoning Jesse McCartney to perform “Beautiful Soul” for “the most special girl in the world,” which is exactly how Ava wrote about it in her middle-school journal. Thank God/the blue alien her mom read her journal, so her dreams could come true! So funny to me that everyone knows the lyrics to this song. It is not lost on me that basically everyone in this room is Deborah’s employee, except for Ava’s mom and middle-school friend Jenny, who, as Ava reports, “stopped being my friend when she got her period before me.”

Well, there are worse things to do with your guilt over saying something cruel in a drunken rant than throwing a very thoughtful 30th-birthday party, no? Or am I getting soft in this farewell season? Ava tells Deborah she isn’t mad. “You are my only friend. What hurt me is that you said it was weird because I don’t think it is.” Deborah very sweetly tells Ava that Ava is the reason she’s forgotten her fans; she needs them less now that she has her. Deborah was also profoundly lonely, despite being technically popular; she had no best friend, and we all know what happened with her sister.

I am so sorry to undermine what I was literally just saying about the party being nice, but it IS weird and I DO think Ava should have other friends who aren’t her boss! Deborah should have friends who aren’t her employees! Work is not a family! But I doubt that is going to be the message in this final season. 

They celebrate this moment of vulnerability by smoking a joint together. Jenny also celebrates, in her way, by fucking Jesse McCartney. But it’s really Amanda’s life that is forever changed. By the morning, the “Deb 4 MSG” campaign is everywhere: her desk at work, her mailbox at home, the toilet-paper roll in the MSG bathroom. Fan armies are so powerful and it’s honestly quite unsettling to observe, but at least they are using their powers for good, and ultimately they do triumph over corporate indifference: Deborah — who is NOT a lizard — has a date! It’s September 11! Whatever, that’s the only one they had! #NeverForgettheLittleDebbies!