The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Scuffles in Scotland

The Real Housewives of Atlanta
Kilts, Chaos & Reads
Season 17 Episode 13
Editor’s Rating ★★★
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We’ve made it to Scotland! And if we’re being real, we all know the only reason we’re here is so Porsha can show off the outfits she missed out on from her short-lived tenure on The Traitors. It was a meta experience for us RHOA fans to see the Faithfuls, unaware of P’s idiosyncrasies, banish her for misspeaking. Porsha tried her hardest to play the game, putting all her brain’s limited bandwidth toward solving the murder mystery. But in her concentration, Porsha fumbled her words, which made the Faithfuls, who were desperate for a crumb of evidence so early in the game, suspicious of her sincerity.

Porsha lasted only one roundtable, missing her chance at breakfast the next day, a meal that has become a mini fashion show for the style enthusiasts to whip out their pleats, tartan, and any type of fuck ass hat you could imagine. Her time in Scotland for The Traitors may have been cut short, but the narrative follows her into RHOA, where, like the Faithfuls, her opposition believes her to be much smarter than she is. In this case, it’s Shamea who thinks Porsha is behind the scenes, plotting against her. But you’d never know this from taking Shamea’s actions at face value. Instead, what we’re seeing is a Cold War waged between the two estranged friends, with one nearly bursting at the seams and the other playing it cool under pressure.

Scotland is the perfect place for the war to culminate — Glimerton House is about as historic as their beef, with its origins dating back to the 1600s. And honestly, at this point, I’m convinced that, since the scars between these two women are so deep, maybe Porsha and Shamea are stuck in an intergenerational karmic loop that began around that time, too (as we learned last season, their rift stems not only from childhood but also from a falling-out between their mothers). All season, Shamea and Porsha have circled each other, barely uttering a direct word, but the tensions seep to the rest of the group, trickling into every interaction. 

Angela gets the most second-hand smoke from the misdirection, as her problems with Shamea have grown so large that, despite originating as a part of the proxy wars, they’re now independent of anything to do with Porsha. By the time they’ve arrived in Scotland, the smoke has festered into full-on flames that Angela has no problem pouring gasoline over. It starts with Angela saying she doesn’t feel supported in the group, specifically with the theory floating around among the women that she herself was behind the Charles fiasco last season. Shamea cuts her off, saying she believes it, especially after a moment in Nashville where Angela allegedly screamed, “Fuck Charles” repeatedly. This train of thought quickly gets lost in the sauce as the topic frustratingly switches back to Shamea and her job with the NBA. Shamea asks Angela why she feels the need to “investigate” her so badly, claiming that two people approached her to say Angela is trying to dig up dirt. 

Phaedra, not new to this rodeo, urges them to name names and put it all on the table. Apparently, Angela’s neighbors, George and his wife, Ashley, are mutual friends of hers and Shamea’s. Shamea claims that Angela asked Ashley for tea. Angela says she merely asked where Ashley stood with Shamea to gauge if she could talk shit without making her uncomfortable. Shamea asks why Ashley would be uncomfortable, and Angela tips over her gasoline bucket and sneers, “Girl, did you fuck George?” Her evidence? A donation from George to Shamea’s charity event. According to Angela, George said, “She was so fine, I had to pay her.” Either Angela actually has tea on Shamea, or she’s officially entered obsessed territory out of spite. 

I believe it’s a bit of both (plus Ashley wanting to be involved in Bravo drama), as Ashley quickly texts Shamea to say she’s not behind the claim that Shamea slept with George, but Angela did indeed ask for gossip. Shamea believes this proves she caught Angela in a lie, but Angela never said that Ashley relayed the information about the extramarital affair; it was just a conclusion she came to on her own. Either way, Angela’s slip is definitely showing in terms of behind-the-scenes messiness (seriously, enough is enough with the cheating stories! We get it, you think she’s in the streets). But regardless of whether Angela lied, it’s still collateral damage in Porsha and Shamea’s Cold War. Without Shamea being able to take her anger out on Porsha directly, everyone can get the smoke. Cynthia says that it seems like when Shamea’s good with someone, the rest of the Plums are too, but when she’s not, they follow suit. The Plums prickle at the lap-dog insinuation. However, I think it’s less about blind submission and more about Shamea setting the tone that, to be her friend, you must be vocally loyal, which is clearly an insecurity. More importantly, this insecurity is affecting her performance as a Housewife because she projects that “all or nothing” mentality onto her castmates. 

Shamea takes everything extremely personally, seeking a hidden agenda that, for her, will always be Porsha pulling her lackeys’ strings. This tunnel vision developed like a scab over a wound after the sting of being disgraced from Porsha’s Palace — it’s clouded her perception of everything so much that it’s keeping her from seeing the forest for the trees. Any slight or catty-Housewives moment has a deeper meaning for her that always leads back to the hurt of Porsha’s rejection. Everything from the division of the Peaches and the Plums to Shamea’s tagline this season is a secret cry from Shamea to Porsha, begging for attention under the guise of her own emancipation. Like Drew correctly pinpoints during dinner, “Everything Shamea does is a misdirection to Porsha…I think Shamea at some point just needs something from Porsha, and she’s not getting it.” 

In many ways, Porsha’s indifference is a form of aggression in itself. She strategically knows that doing nothing and paying Shamea dust hits two birds with one stone; it’s the quickest way to get under Shamea’s skin, and it’s a sure-fire tactic to stay in the fans’ good graces by seeming “above” the petty drama. Plus, it highlights what I believe is the core of the matter. On paper, Shamea has everything Porsha thought she wanted: a rich African husband, the picture-perfect family, the mansion, and a full-time peach. But she can’t get the one thing Porsha has in abundance: charisma. Porsha’s gift of charisma, combined with her work ethic, helped her obtain her money, her daughter, and her peach on her own terms. On the flip side, Shamea needs Gerald for her status (and she’s barely holding on to her peach), an insecurity that shows up in her digs at Angela and in her desperation to strike out on her own with her businesses and entertainment career. K. Michelle said it best when she noted, “I don’t know what she’ll do if she gets kicked up out that house.” 

Shamea and Porsha’s passive back-and-forth is a fascinating take on how icing someone out after a friendship falls apart can play out on a show like The Real Housewives. Some fans hate this strategy because, at its worst, it stunts the action, but in this case, it adds a compelling layer since Shamea and Porsha’s relationship runs so deep, growing tangled roots that subconsciously rub off on the other women. Even when Drew tries to messily prod at the massive elephant in the room at dinner, the conversation still reverts to Angela’s issues with Shamea. It happens after the whole table takes turns sharing their lesbian proclivities — I love the openness and gay acceptance of this season compared to the homophobia in years past — and Drew slyly blurts out that Porsha said that Shamea kissed Kandi. Porsha deflects, saying Drew ruined the mood.

Pinky, RHOA’s newest professional pot-stirrer, takes no time to keep the drama going, bringing up Angela’s feelings on her rift with Shamea. Angela, never missing an opportunity to keep her foot on Shamea’s neck, addresses Shamea’s comment to Ahmauri at Maggie Madness about being nicer than her mom. Shamea stands ten toes down, and the digs start flying again as Shamea brings out her receipts from Ashley. All hell breaks loose at the table and, not so coincidentally, everyone looks to Porsha to diffuse things. She’s really the big dog on this campus, whether her cast mates want to admit it or not.

The end of the episode is where the true sisterhood lies: the veterans give Kelli a taste of what it feels like to really be part of the Housewives’ family. Cynthia, Porsha, Drew, and Phaedra shower Kelli with love and support amidst the news that her ex-husband is attempting to sue Bravo for $200 million (he’s so delusional!). Porsha takes the moment of vulnerability as an opportunity to hang up her gloves in her fight with Kelli. I know Shamea will say it looks like the Peaches are trying to lure Kelli into their clique, but I think it’s good for Kelli to see for herself that things aren’t so bad on the winning team…for now. We’ll see what happens next week as we continue our journey through the Scottish countryside. 

Peach Tea To-Go

• Did I misunderstand, or did Phaedra just reveal the identity of the infamous “Mr. Chocolate”? In her confessional, she says, “Accusing me of George is not the coolest,” before flashing back to her nearly assaulting Kenya with her purse in season nine. Is George, Mr. Chocolate?! 

• I’m happy that Shamea pulled Pinky and K. Michelle aside to speak privately about K.’s feelings. It’s not fair to K. Michelle for Shamea to treat her like a charity case, but I also think Shamea’s quick willingness to take accountability was in an effort to keep K on her side. All of this is a game of chess to defeat Porsha.