The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Recap: Betrayal

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives
The Book of Secrets
Season 4 Episode 2
Editor’s Rating ★★
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No one knows why Taylor has brought her TikTok crush — an aspiring country singer named Ben — to her house in Utah right before she is supposed to start filming The Bachelorette. But everyone has decided, either independently or in some off-camera meeting, simply not to question her eminently questionable decision-making. I think this is wise. Getting into the weeds of Taylor’s love life has never made anyone’s life easier. And in some cases, going up against her has resulted in a nearly catastrophic loss in follower count. Miranda points out that it is in MomTok’s best interest for Taylor to have a successful run as the Bachelorette. Since no person is more likely to derail that journey than Dakota, it’s really better for everyone to keep Taylor as distracted as possible until she is safely sequestered in the Bachelorette mansion with her 22 new boyfriends.

I, however, am not friends with Taylor, nor do I rely on her to maintain my personal brand. So I am at perfect liberty to say what I really think, which is this: What, what, what are you doing? But I can get more specific. Let’s start with: What is Ben doing here? (We’ll get to the Dakota business in a moment.)

“The Book of Secrets” picks up where “The Book of Taking Flight” ended: Taylor at the airport picking up Ben, a mustachioed struggling singer she fell mildly in love with over TikTok. This could be viewed as growth because Taylor could just as easily be at the airport to stalk Dakota on his way to Lisa Vanderpump’s den of iniquity, which the editing takes pains to remind us. But how serious can Taylor really be about moving on with this guy when the relationship has a contractual expiration date set by ABC’s production schedule? 

Not only does Ben know Taylor is the next Bachelorette, he stiffly participates in the mock rose ceremony Jessi has organized in Taylor’s living room surrounded by the full MomTok coven and their infants. Therefore, I can only assume Ben is not here for a love connection so much as an opportunity to juice his own music platform. I’m sorry, but it is impossible to talk about The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives without talking about everyone’s behind-the-scenes machinations because they are frequently what fuels the on-camera drama, openly so. Nobody on this show has ever even heard of a fourth wall. Demi, for instance, has refused to do confessional interviews this season, so production is directing its questions for her to an empty sofa and letting the silence do the talking.

I said all of MomTok was gathered in Taylor’s house to meet her internet fling, but that’s not quite true: Whitney and Jen are still in L.A., mostly just dancing through life. Though I admit I’m a little disappointed not to have seen more of their roommate situation (two Mormon couples, their six children, an assistant, and an undisclosed number of nannies all under one roof sounds like exactly the kind of low-budget CBC sitcom that would become a cult classic the moment it starts streaming on Netflix), their friendship stands a much better chance of surviving now that Jen has moved her family out of Whitney’s Airbnb. Plus it’s refreshing to see people be nice to Jen once in a while. You know whose friendship stands zero chance of survival? Jessi and Demi’s, despite the best efforts of Gabi, their shared energy healer. 

Back at Taylor’s house, Mayci and Mikayla excuse themselves to answer a call from Mayci’s husband, Jacob, expecting a full report of what’s been going on at Vanderpump Villa. But instead, Jacob lies through his teeth and tells them Dakota did not have sex with anyone. It takes Mayci zero seconds to conclude her husband is lying to her face, so, under pressure, Jacob eventually amends his statement. He’s not telling them anything because, he says, “I don’t think you guys have healthy boundaries with your friends.” Mayci and Mikayla, to their credit, hang up on him.

We already know the men have agreed to a code of silence regarding the villa because Zac said as much to Jen over FaceTime. “Some crazy stuff went down,” he admits, but then says, “I’ve been asked not to tell you.” At least he has the decency not to shift the blame, which is the most credit I’ve ever been compelled to give Zac. Chase and Mase are even more tight-lipped when Layla picks them up at the airport. Whenever she asks them a question, they find it most expedient to simply pretend they can’t hear her. The only person who can’t keep his trap shut is, of course, Jordan. He doesn’t even wait until they’ve left the villa to tell Jessi that Dakota had a four-way kiss in the hot tub with three girls and then went home with one of them. Jordan tries to claim spousal privilege here, but that doesn’t really hold water considering he also repeats the story to Mayci and Mikayla at the first opportunity once he returns home. 

The most unfortunate knock-on effect of Jordan’s bro-code betrayal is that it allows Chase to grandstand at their post-villa DadTok brunch. After the high-fiving and the guffawing about sleeping on the couch have been done, Jordan admits he told Jessi everything Dakota did in the villa “because he’s my boy.” Chase immediately declares this “crazy, bro!” He warns that now the boys can’t tell Jordan anything because he’s just going to run and tell his wife. Chase then demands Jordan apologize to Dakota, adding, “Oh, how the fucking turn tables!” which is a reference to Jordan demanding Chase “take ownership” at that long-ago Halloween party. Jordan says he’s just trying to save his marriage, but he is sorry. 

Throughout this whole debacle, I have been wondering what the big deal is. Surely, there must be more to this earth-shattering scandal than a single adult consensually hooking up with another single adult at a Lisa Vanderpump–owned property. Especially because Taylor is literally the Bachelorette. Still, it is universally accepted that knowing about Dakota’s sexcapades in the villa will cause Taylor’s world to come crashing down — which it duly does.

Taylor only has to ask Jessi directly if Dakota slept with someone in the villa for Jessi to immediately tell her the truth. Yes, he did. Taylor collapses in a tearful heap on the floor of Jessi’s closet, which is where she decides to call Dakota herself. Girl, what are you doing?