What Happens When You Finally Stop Settling For A Bare Minimum Man
· Thought Catalog
Updated 2 hours ago, November 20, 2024
When you finally stop settling for a bare minimum man, you will first mistake his absence as loneliness. Everything in your life will be much quieter. Your phone will stop vibrating as much. You will no longer feel the need to check it for his short replies to the conversations you both initiated and carried out.
Your schedule will also become more open. He was always your first choice for plans, so long as he was free, but now that is no longer the case. You’ll also notice the empty space in your bed he used to occupy on Saturday nights, following dates at the bar, dates he was always late for by 30 minutes or more.
And at first, it will hurt. You will miss him. You will want to reach out. You will try and convince yourself that his half-assed effort was enough because at least it was something. At least you weren’t alone. At least you had someone’s attention, even if it was scattered.
Here’s the thing, though: the bare minimum will never be enough.
The bare minimum man will always leave you empty and wanting more. He will make you question your self-worth. He will make you doubt yourself and what you deserve. He’ll make you feel crazy for asking for what you need.
Do not listen to him. Listen to your instincts. If you’re thirsty, you don’t question it. You drink water. Your emotional needs are just as valid. If you don’t feel supported, loved, and cared for, believe what you feel. Ask him for what you need and if he won’t provide those things?
Let him go. Stop settling for the bare minimum man.
Once the pain begins to wade, you’ll notice new feelings. Freedom. Self-respect. Self-love. When you finally stop settling for a bare minimum man, you make space in your life for something more, something real. You stop looking for projects and seek partnership instead. You stop falling for someone’s “potential” and allow yourself to see them as they actually are, not who you wish they could be. You begin to live in what-is, not what-ifs.
But mostly, when you stop settling for a bare minimum man, you open your heart to the person who actually deserves it. Give yourself a chance to find him. Let the bare minimum man go.