‘SNL’ Cold Open: Team Harris, Trump Compete in Family Feud

Team Trump faced off against Team Harris on Saturday Night Live‘s version of Family Feud, with the former president unable to form a coherent response to the question, “Name something you keep in your glove compartment.”

While Trump had anticipated being joined by his wife, Melania, she was nowhere to be seen–similar to her absence on the campaign trail in recent months.

“It’s so strange,” said Trump (James Austin Johnson). “I could have sworn she was standing right beside me about two years ago. But in her place, I brought a beloved member of the Trump family–and also Don Jr.”

Trump’s eldest child (Mikey Day) tried to hide his disappointment about not being picked as his father’s running mate, while J.D. Vance (Bowen Yang) commented how “refreshing it was to be on a show that “celebrates families, unlike the Democrats who turned our hero, the Joker, into a gay guy that’s obsessed with Lady Gaga.”

Trump then squared off against Harris (Maya Rudolph), who, after flattering him to prove how easily manipulated he is, buzzed in first to a prompt about what she keeps in her glove compartment.

Harris’ response was a longwinded tale of her middle-class upbringing, which bored the host, who begged her to get on with it. Eventually, she replied, “A big ol’ glock.”

Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff (Andy Samberg), feeling that his wife’s answer was “so perfect,” repeated it. And “a second gun,” turns out, was the number one answer.

After Tim Walz (Jim Gaffigan) unsuccessfully answered napkins, Tums, and hothands, President Joe Biden (Dana Carvey) confidently said, “I’d like to buy a vowel.” After being informed that that wouldn’t cut it, Biden called the host “Conan,” and threatened to give Trump a “knuckle sandwich.” None of that translated to an answer on the board, though, so Trump’s side took over.

And if Biden’s response was bad, so was his predecessor’s–especially since it was one of his rambling, off-topic non-answers.

“I’ve never ridden in front seat of car, so this question is very unfair. So, to answer this, I’m going to do one of my signature weaves, right? It’s called the weave, where I say lots of things, but it all comes together so beautifully, like an episode of Seinfeld. You know, Seinfeld. Jerry was always wearing mom jeans. He had bad jeans, just like the immigrants that are ruining this country. They’re eating the pets. They’re eating Mu Deng!” Trump exclaimed.

“But it’s so sad. We are getting our asses kicked. I mean, you look at Korea, you look at Japan– America’s not even included. There’s no room. So it’s like glove compartment, right? You see what I did there, Steve?”

The host replied that he knew exactly what he was talking about. He then turned to the board.
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“Show me ‘dementia!'”

A giant red ‘X’ blared across the screen.