Finally, a Reason to Have Kids (Programming)

Children & Family shows may just be the most cost-effective way for streaming platforms to keep their subscribers.

Hey kids! Are you ready to learn about a terrifying, real-life monster called Churn? Math class just got real.

In the fast-paced, slim-margined streaming industry, lowering churn is the new growing-subscribers — and soon, bundling alone won’t be enough. Forward-looking streamers already need The Next Big Idea ™ to retain their user base. Their solution, according to the researchers at global-entertainment firm Ampere Analysis, are in the play room fighting over Barbie dolls as I type this.

Though these micro-est economics students may not use their own allowance money on the family’s suite of SVOD services, they have as much influence over the lineup — if not more — than others. As any parent already knows, we’re way past the outdated “Happy wife, happy life” nonsense: The only real chance of having a happy life is whatever rhymes with “Occupied kids.”

New data backs it up. Ampere has found that households with children are less likely to cancel their streaming-service subscriptions than those without them.

The below pie charts tell the story: In the first quarter of 2024, 36 percent of SVOD (subscription video on-demand) subscribers who lived without children were “at risk of churning.” (And at a 100 percent chance of having a fun weekend, hiyo!) Just 26 percent of SVOD subs who live with children on the other hand were considered “at risk” of canceling their streaming services.

Why the difference? Clearly you do not have children. Here’s what you can do: Come to my home in suburban New Jersey and try to pry “Full House” (Disney+) from my older one and “Ada Twist, Scientist” (Netflix) from my younger one. I can’t wait to watch this unfold — using my umbrella insurance policy to cover the personal injuries will be worth it for me. And for you, the experience will serve as birth control.

OK, so the clear answer here is for streamers to get (more) children’s programming. And get it however and from wherever you can.

Per Nielsen, the brilliant Australian import “Bluey” is the most-streamed show — of any kind and any length — in the U.S. thus far in 2024. (We specify “any length” because Nielsen ranks shows in terms of minutes viewed, and “Bluey” episodes are just nine minutes apiece. You’d need to watch five “Blueys” to equal one “Suits” — the legal drama that made a huge resurgence last summer to become 2023’s most-streamed series. “Bluey” was second.)

There’s just one problem: Globally, very few platforms have been compiling cartoons and other family-friendly fare.

The TV industry’s overall decline in commissioning (the British word for “ordering”) programming has hit the Children & Family subsection — hard. The genre was the third-most affected category (of 12) between 2022 and 2023, behind just drama and crime & thriller — and kids shows are much cheaper to make (and acquire) than those two. All you really need is a dinosaur costume or a few people who can illustrate talking dogs.

As it is, the overall number of Children & Family titles announced during this slowdown dropped by 15 percent globally. On-demand titles in the genre fell 18 percent.

Series based on existing IP had a much better chance: Adaptations of children’s books declined during the period, but by just 9 percent — existing ideas come with less risk. To that point, half of all children’s titles announced in the first half of 2024 were renewals. The category finally reached parity: Ahead of the global COVID-19 pandemic, 65 percent of Children & Family TV commissions were first-run (original) programs.

With funding for Children & Family titles at a scarcity, those platforms who could (and did) fund those shows created a competitive advantage for themselves. Primarily, those were the well-funded public broadcasters — especially in Western Europe. (Ampere is based in London, so they’re in the know.)

As it turns out, “Viewers Like You” actually do make a difference.