'My ex lied about me on evil Facebook group. I'm scared to go outside'

Nottinghamshire residents are scared to leave the house after being accused of cheating and domestic abuse on an "evil" Facebook group. Concerns have been raised over the rapid growth of groups on the platform which are often used to 'expose' ex-partners.

Named 'Are We Dating the Same Guy?', the private pages claim to offer offer a supportive space for women to share dating experiences. Two groups have been set up in the East Midlands region which each have more than 3,000 members.

Many posts in the groups frequently include photos of men alongside a variety of claims, including allegations of cheating and domestic abuse. A group called ''Are We Dating the Same Girl?', which has more than 1,600 members, has also been set up to identify "red flags" with women. There is no way to verify the claims made, and some may of course prove very useful to people on the dating scene.

A man and a woman who both say they have been targeted with false allegations on the group have called for them to be banned by Facebook. The social media giant, which has been accused of allowing the pages to be used as "weapons", has been contacted for comment.

The two victims have spoken to Nottinghamshire Live about their experiences under the condition of anonymity.

Stephen - not his real name - said his ex-partner posted his photo on one of the groups and falsely accused him of being a domestic abuser. Recalling being "rocked" when he found out through a phone call from his daughter, the 45-year-old said: “She said ‘dad you’ll never guess what’ and she sent me a picture of me on this site.

"I’m not on social media so had no clue what was going on. My ex-partner set up a fake dating profile and said ‘don’t get with this man he’s abusive, he’s a woman beater'. She called me a narcissist, I don’t even know what that means."

“At the time it was getting really, really bad. Comments said I abuse women but I’ve not got an offence to my name." Stephen, who lives in Hucknall, said he was prescribed antidepressants and stopped going into town because of the post.

“I’ve been walking down the street and women have been saying ‘it’s him’. I just want to forget about it," he said. “At the time it was getting really, really bad. Comments said I abuse women but I’ve not got an offence to my name.

“This has gone too far, it’s affecting my life. In Hucknall everyone knows everyone. I don’t want to go back shopping in Hucknall, that’s how it made me feel."

Rachel - also not her real name - saw her face plastered over the male group around four weeks ago. She was accused by an ex-partner of cheating numerous times while in a relationship.

“He put a picture of me [libelling] me. He was calling me names making out like I have lots of different partners," said the 32-year-old. “People were forwarding it on to me saying ‘you’re on this site’. It’s horrible.

Rachel, who also lives in Hucknall, said: "For ages I didn’t want to leave the house. I’ve taken myself off social media, I’d rather not see it. I suffer from anxiety and it was made worse.

“I got my sister to report it and it was added again. There’s nothing to stop people saying what they want, and it’s anonymous so you don’t know who is behind it."

Councillor Sarita-Marie Rehman-Wall, who represents Bulwell Forest at Nottingham City Council, said she knew of several people who had been targeted by false allegations. “It’s causing relationship break-ups and fathers being prevented from seeing their children," she said.

"There seems to be a trend where women who want to get their own back are using it as a base to tell lies." The councillor said an argument over the group had resulted in a fight between two women outside a school.

“Police were there. I asked a woman what was going on and they said it was over a man who had been posted in ‘Are We Dating the Same Guy?’," she said. Cllr Rehman-Wall urged women to use Clare's Law if they have any concerns about a new partner.

The law, also known as the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme, enables the police to disclose information to a victim or potential victim of domestic abuse about their partner's or ex-partner's previous abusive or violent offending.

Calling for the ban of the groups, Cllr Rehman-Wall said: “It’s like vigilantism, it’s very dangerous. If an MP or a rich person was being defamed on Facebook they have the money to take people to court.

“Working class people can’t do that, they have to live with the shame and embarrassment." Rachel described some of the posts as "evil".

"People are using it for revenge. They need to be banned, it’s ruining people’s relationships. I think for [Facebook] it’s probably a good thing, it boosts their population."

Stephen added: "Facebook aren’t bothered. Social media has wrecked lots of people’s lives. I think they should get rid of it. I tried to make a complaint but they weren’t interested.”