‘70% of our marriage he’s been jobless’: Wife says unemployed husband refuses to help after maid left - Singapore News
· The IndependentSINGAPORE: A fed-up wife turned to social media to vent her frustration after her husband allegedly refused to help out with household chores, even after their domestic helper left the family.
Posting in the SINGAPORE TRANSFER (No Fees/SD), DIRECT HIRE & NEW HELPER Facebook group on Thursday (May 14), she shared that they had had a helper for six years.
“I’ve been helper-free for 2 months, but before that, she was with me for 6 years. For me, one of the main reasons for having a helper is not for the work she does but to keep my sanity because the imbalance of labour drives me crazy,” she wrote.
The wife said she currently juggles one full-time job and several part-time gigs, while her husband has been “jobless for 70% of the years we’ve been together, but somehow everything is my responsibility.”
Despite being home far more often, the husband apparently contributes very little unless specifically told what to do. She said he “occasionally cooks” when asked, but leaves everything else untouched, including laundry.
“If I ask for help with laundry, he says, ‘No rush, just rest. You can do it later.’ This same person wonders why ‘nothing is done’ if he has no clean socks.”
Her frustration boiled over further when their three-year-old became ill and had to miss childcare for the week. Rather than offering to take over, she claimed her husband simply expected her to sort it out herself while he prioritised his hobbies.
“He assumed I’d just take time off work (which I have) rather than thinking he should help out instead of rushing out to his hobbies first thing in the morning.”
“Let him hold the fort from time to time”
Many netizens reacted quite strongly in the comments section, with some saying they genuinely could not understand why she was still married to him.
One commenter wrote, “Why are you with him?! I mean, seriously. He doesn’t seem to benefit you, but rather he’s a burden to you. A benefit can also be emotional, mental, physical, etc. (I’m not talking financial).”
“So are you benefiting from this relationship? Or has he become a big burden? Then talk to him and lay your cards on the table that you’re on the brink of losing it.”
Another encouraged her to remove herself from the situation temporarily and focus on herself for once.
“Take your 3-year-old to Mom’s house if possible and let him be where he is. No explanations, no questions. Just leave for some time. Say, ‘I am tired of doing all the work alone and need a break.’”
A third said, “Jobless for 70% of the relationship is already a very big red flag!! Don’t know why people choose to marry this kinda useless guys and then end up complaining.”
A fourth added, “You should repatriate your hubby back to his mommy.”
Not everyone immediately suggested divorce, however. A few commenters felt she should first try setting firmer boundaries.
One individual shared, “I’ve been in your position, but now I put myself and our kids first. If he has no clean socks, that’s on him. Don’t have too much empathy for him; you will end up suffering. Take care of yourself, babe.”
“He rushed to his hobbies, but you must also remember to take care of yourself. hair care, mani-pedi, and facial. Let him hold the fort from time to time, and then he MIGHT appreciate what you do. If he doesn’t, it’s his character flaw, not yours.”
In other news, a jobseeker’s Reddit post describing a “suspicious” job offer from a small- and medium-sized enterprise (SME) has sparked discussion online after she revealed that a potential employer planned to split her salary across two separate companies, allegedly for quota purposes.
Posting on the r/askSingapore forum to seek advice, she asked, “How common is this? Has anyone else encountered this before, and will it affect my future job?”
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