Woman asks if ‘silent marriages’ are normal in Singapore after husband stops talking to her - Singapore News

SINGAPORE: A woman turned to Reddit to ask whether “silent marriages are normal in Singapore” after her husband stopped talking to her.

In a post on the r/asksg subreddit on Tuesday (May 5), she shared that communication between them has become extremely limited following a mistake she made two months ago.

She said they now only talk when it concerns their children or household matters, and even then, his responses are often just “one or two words.”

The woman added that she has already apologised and made repeated efforts to fix the relationship and start conversations, but nothing has improved. According to her, her husband continues to shut her out emotionally.

“I’m aware a lot of older couples often stay in marriages even though they live separate lives, sleep in different rooms, and barely communicate,” she wrote. “Question is… am I weak for wanting to separate if this continues, maybe for a year? Or is this actually a somewhat common situation? Is silent marriage common in Singapore?”

While she acknowledged that leaving the marriage could come with serious consequences, she said she is struggling to picture spending the rest of her life “living with someone who treats me as something invisible.”

She did not disclose what mistake she made, but clarified that it did not involve infidelity.

“Give it time and talk to him about it.”

The woman’s post quickly drew attention online. Many criticised the husband for being “petty” towards his wife. Some also called his behaviour “manipulative,” “immature,” and “cowardly.”

Others warned her that staying in the marriage could eventually damage her mental health.

One individual said, “This is actually a form of mental abuse. It’s not good for you long-term. Don’t let him treat you this way anymore. Get help.”

Another commented, “Silent treatment for that long is petty as hell. Silent treatment should never be used, and differences should be settled by the day’s end. Letting it fester for so long will lead to one party hating the other.”

A third added, “Cold wars, silent treatment, and stonewalling are forms of emotional abuse and will ruin your mental health when they are prolonged.”

On the other hand, some users felt it was unfair to criticise the husband since the woman never explained what “the mistake” was. 

One commenter wrote, “It’s hard to judge without knowing what it was (not asking you to share). It could be a little thing and him being petty, or it could be something much more serious and should have warranted a divorce. Give it time and talk to him about it.”

Another suggested, “Let him know that it has been bothering you and you really treasure this relationship and want to work it out with him. If it does not work out, maybe try out marriage counselling if he is willing?”

In other news, a commuter in her 20s has vented online after an elderly woman allegedly confronted her for sitting in a reserved seat and repeatedly insisted it was “for seniors only.”

Posting on the r/SMRTRabak forum on Friday (April 24), the commuter said she had just finished a shift that left her “physically and mentally” drained.

Read more: ‘This seat is for seniors only’: Woman says she was confronted over reserved seat in MRT

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