'We're both broke': Woman says boyfriend wants the Singapore dream but has no roadmap to get there - Singapore News
· The IndependentSINGAPORE: A 22-year-old woman has turned to Reddit for advice after growing increasingly frustrated with her boyfriend’s big-picture dreams that currently lack any financial roadmap.
In her post, she explained that her boyfriend, whom she’s known for ten years and dated for two, hopes to eventually own a “house, a car, and pets” in the future, but has yet to work out how any of it would realistically be funded.
According to her, both of them are currently “broke” and “not from wealthy backgrounds.”
“He wants to be comfortable, like afford a house and car and have pets in the future. I also want the same thing, but I feel like he hasn’t really shown much initiative in planning our future besides glancing at the romantic and comfortable dream life.”
To be fair, she acknowledged that her boyfriend’s circumstances may be part of the reason. Since he’s currently in National Service and spends most weekdays in camp, he has less time to sit down and think through these issues.
“I can understand he’s in camp 5 days of the week, he’s not as free as me to do all this planning, and he’s ok discussing over weekends. But meanwhile, I feel like I’m kinda left figuring this out on my own? It’s pretty overwhelming.”
“We are both very committed to each other and determined to making it work. But not sure where to start and not sure HOW to start this discussion.”
She also revealed that her boyfriend’s only concrete plan so far is to buy a car, something she believes should not be a priority at this stage.
“He wants to dump S$20k into an old car,” she said. “I am very against him getting a car before a house lol. Not sure how this is going to be received but just really wanted to know what steps we can take as an early 20s couple. We DO NOT want kids. nor do we want a wedding.”
Hoping to get some advice, she asked other Singaporeans, “How do Sinkies start calculating finances when looking to settle down?”
“Don’t marry a foolish man”
In the comments, one user advised the woman to come up with a realistic financial plan on her own first, then present it to her boyfriend to see what he thinks.
“You figure out your plan first and present it to him,” they said. “Show him the numbers for how you would like your life to look like, and what it will take to get there. If he’s serious about his financial goals, he’ll wake up when you show him that you’ve put in the work for your ideal future, and then you can discuss seriously. If he doesn’t then… well, I can’t help you much from there.”
Another kept it short and practical, “Do a budget: salary – expenses. Show him how much you both need to earn to afford a house, car, and pets comfortably.”
Others, however, were less interested in offering advice and more concerned about the relationship itself.
They urged the woman to think carefully about whether she wanted to build a future with someone who, in their eyes, was a “red flag.”
One bluntly told her, “He’s a fool for wanting to buy a car when he can’t even afford a house. Don’t marry a foolish man. Many men (not all) always think they are right and are not willing to listen and change.”
Another, meanwhile, suggested that the couple slow things down. They wrote, “You two are broke, with no real savings. By right, you each should have at least 3 to 6 months of salary as savings for emergencies, which you two do not even have, and you are already planning for life-long commitments to each other. You two are still young. My advice is to take things one step at a time, build up your savings first. Then you two can talk and decide on other things.”
In other news, a foreign worker sparked concern online after sharing details of a cooking job in Singapore that would require him to work up to 14 hours a day for a monthly salary of just S$2,000.
Posting on the r/asksg forum, the worker said his contract stated a 44-hour work week.
However, he claimed that the staff roster he had seen told a different story, with employees allegedly working around 14 hours a day and receiving only one or two rest days a month.
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