'You wore long pants for the dentist but shorts for me': Anniversary dinner dispute exposes deeper relationship issue - Singapore News
· The IndependentSINGAPORE: A man is now wondering what the “acceptable standards” are when it comes to dressing up for your partner after his girlfriend snapped at him when he said he planned to “wear shorts” to their anniversary dinner.
Looking for answers, he turned to the r/asksg subreddit on Saturday (Jun 6) to share the incident, explain the backstory, and ask fellow Singaporeans for their views.
In his post, he said he had asked his girlfriend ahead of their anniversary dinner whether they should “dress nice” for the occasion.
“I asked her today whether we were dressing nice today for dinner. She said ‘ish’ and said she would wear a skirt and sandals. I replied, saying that I would wear a short-sleeved shirt, shorts, and sandals.”
His girlfriend, however, was not pleased with the response and “spiralled.” He then went on to explain why the issue appeared to strike such a nerve.
According to him, it all started when, on two separate occasions more than two years ago, he wore long pants when visiting his female dentist.
“When my fiancée caught me wearing said pants (this was before we were engaged), she had gone into a spiral thinking that I was (a) hitting on the dentist or had a crush on said dentist; and (b) did not put in effort for her in dressing up for our relationship.”
The man explained that he has always preferred wearing shorts because he finds them more comfortable. He said he only wears long pants for special occasions or when the couple have booked somewhere particularly nice.
Ever since the dentist incident, however, he claimed that his girlfriend has become upset whenever he suggests or hints that he might wear shorts on a date.
“It becomes a huge issue, as if I don’t love her enough, and she suggests she should find someone better who would put in effort to dress up for her.”
He then asked, “AITA (Am I The A***ole? I get that Singaporean guys are always said to be terrible dressers, but what’s a reasonable standard/expectation here?”
“I think you should dress nicely for anniversary dinners.”
The man’s post received mixed opinions. While some called his girlfriend “toxic” for caring so much about how her boyfriend dresses, others said they could understand where her frustrations were coming from.
One told the man, “Bro, you wore long pants to the dentist (more than once) but won’t wear pants on dates with her? So she is worth less effort than you going to the dentist? No matter how comfortable you find shorts, this is what you are signalling to her: that dates with her is worth less effort than going to the dentist. Especially if it’s an anniversary dinner.”
Another commented, “As a guy who wears t-shirts and shorts to work, I think you should dress nicely for anniversary dinners. Also, if you put so little effort/emphasis on an outfit but wear long pants to see the dentist, it’s kinda suspicious for sure. Just shows that it’s not actually you, completely lapsap/don’t care.”
A third added, “Imagine the roles were reversed. She’s always wearing something frumpy whenever you guys go on a date, but when she’s going to her gynaecologist, suddenly she’s wearing a dress and putting on makeup. How would you react to that?”
Some also said that their relationship, or future marriage, could collapse if they do not resolve the issue.
One commenter advised, “There is no such standard, and it’s impossible to go into specifics, but by the sounds of it, your other half likes to see you in pants, maybe even one particular kind of pants. So if you want her happy, explore the possibility of wearing something similar more often. It’s not difficult. And if it is, then maybe we need to explore if there are any other big issues around.”
Another suggested a rule: “Always wear shorts around other people. Always wear pants with her. This is the only way.”
In other news, a fresh graduate seeking career advice on Reddit ended up facing a wave of criticism after describing a S$4,000 monthly salary offer as a possible “lowball.”
On the r/asksg forum, the graduate shared that a recruiter had approached them about a data analyst position at an allegedly “big company in Singapore.” After attending an interview, they were offered the job the very same day.
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