Small Bits of Gratitude

How to be anonymously kind.

Reviewed by Tyler Woods

Key points

• In November, look for ways to spread joy.
• Easy, small bits of kindness can take less than a minute.
• Remember to be kind to yourself as well.

In November in the northern part of the U.S., the air cools and clears away the summer’s forest fire smoke. Tulip tree leaves turn a brilliant shade of saffron or amber. The Japanese maple in my front yard changes to a special red color—rosso corsa (I’m learning about colors, thanks to Kassia St. Clair’s The Secret Lives of Color).

It’s also a month of gratitude, what with Thanksgiving close by. In addition to relishing in the color of leaves, I’m also making it a month for small bits of gratitude by trying to be anonymously kind in quick and easy ways.

Take driving. I have relatives in Los Angeles and Seattle, and I visit Hanoi, Vietnam, often, so I understand serious traffic. My L.A. relatives joke that I live in a place where we practice “meditative driving,” because it’s so slow. Fair enough, but like many smaller cities, mine is absorbing drivers from places far away—Alaska to California, New Jersey to New Mexico. They bring their competitive driving cultures but instead of trying to keep up, I’m slowing down.

When a driver wants into my lane, I wave her in. Some are shocked but jump at the chance. When a driver lets me into a lane in front of him, I open my window and wave thank you. The surprise and then the big smile I see in the rearview mirror bring both of us a five-second piece of joy. Quick, easy to do, and I hold tight to the hope that maybe the other person will do the same for another driver.

I’ve also started giving compliments to strangers. I passed a woman walking down some airport stairs recently. She wore a cerulean blue dress that made her look like a million bucks.

“Gorgeous color on you!” I yelled. Her face lit up.

Ditto for a young woman in the library parking lot. Her waist-length braided hair was pink, blue, and yellow.

"Your hair is fantastic," I shouted.

“I love your glasses,” she said.

I think we both felt a boost.

And, of course, anytime I walk with my very chilled-out dog, I always ask if a child, a parent, or another dog walker, wants to “say hi.” We stop, exchange sniffs and pleasantries, and move on. Again, a small boost of happiness all around.

None of these tiny acts takes more than a minute. They require no prep, no money, no follow up. Nothing profound. Just small pieces of what I can control to make the day nicer, And, of course, the colors on the leaves make it even better.