3 Executive Functioning Skills Every Parent Should Know
Empowering strategies to boost executive functioning and help kids thrive
by Liz Nissim-Matheis Ph.D. · Psychology TodayReviewed by Davia Sills
Key points
- Executive functioning skills are essential, but they don't get taught in school.
- Parents can help using a variety of strategies, like creating accountability by just being present.
- Minimizing distractions, like putting away phones during homework time, can help improve learning.
Every new school year brings hope—a fresh start and a chance for growth. We, as parents, cross our fingers that the summer helped our kids mature and sharpen their skills.
Yet, executive functioning—the planning, organizing, and time-management skills they need—doesn’t just magically appear. These skills are learned, not innate. And with each new grade, the demands on our kids increase, from managing multiple assignments and staying organized to simply keeping track of their stuff.
Does this scenario sound familiar? Your child spends hours “doing” homework, but when you check in, there’s not much to show for it. What’s happening? Well, I decided to go straight to the source—kids themselves.
Their answers were eye-opening. Many confessed they’d start working, but then a text pinged, or they remembered something cool they wanted to look up. Before they knew it, time had flown by, and little progress had been made. When parents check in at this point, kids either scramble to look busy or snap back in frustration—because they’re fully aware they’ve been stuck for a while. The cycle of procrastination and frustration keeps repeating.
Here’s the thing: Executive functioning skills aren’t taught in a specific class, even though they’re essential for success. As a parent, you can still support your child’s development in these areas. The good news? You don’t have to be a therapist or teacher to help them. Below are three simple strategies you can use at home to help build these skills, all while actually getting homework done!
1. The Body Double Method: An Easy Way to Boost Focus
We all have our preferences when it comes to working. Some thrive in complete silence, while others need a little background noise. For kids, especially those with ADHD, having someone else nearby can make all the difference. It’s called the “body double” technique, and it’s as simple as sitting in the same room as your child while they do their homework. You don’t need to be involved in what they’re doing—just your presence can help them stay on task.
Think of it this way: Some of us feel more grounded knowing someone else is around. It’s not about hovering; it’s about being a silent supporter.
Try it out: Set your child up at the kitchen table while you read a book or work on your laptop. Ask them to complete one task, then check in. Was it helpful? If so, this might be your go-to method moving forward.
Personal note: In my house, we each have our preferences. I work best at the kitchen counter with a little buzz around me, while my daughter loves to sprawl out in the middle of the floor. My son? He needs the quiet of his own room. Every kid is different, so don’t be afraid to experiment and see what works best.
2. Put the Phone Down, and Nobody Gets Hurt
Let’s face it: Distractions are everywhere. For kids with ADHD, the world is even more distracting because they might hear all the background noises equally, from the chirping birds to the distant lawnmower. Now, add a vibrating phone or a social media ping to the mix. The temptation to check notifications or scroll through Instagram can derail focus in a heartbeat.
The solution? Create a distraction-free zone. When homework time starts, collect the phones and put them in another room. Remind your child that all their notifications will still be there when they’re done, but right now, homework is the priority. It may feel like you’re being the “bad guy” at first, but over time, your child will likely come to appreciate the clarity and focus a phone-free environment provides.
3. Master Time With a Timer
Kids with ADHD often underestimate how long tasks will take. If you’ve ever heard, “It’ll only take five minutes,” you know the struggle. A great way to help them build a sense of time is by using a timer. Before starting an assignment, ask your child how long they think it will take and set the timer accordingly. When the timer goes off, check in to see how much progress has been made. This exercise helps kids start to understand how much time different tasks actually require.
Pro tip: For assignments that will take a while, use the timer to break things down into smaller chunks. If your child can stay focused for 30 minutes, set the timer for that long, and when it goes off, encourage them to take a five-minute break. The goal is to make homework less overwhelming and keep it from feeling like an endless task.