Revealing the Self: What Drives the Decision to Disclose?

Disclosure is part of emotional processing and can improve health and well-being.

Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

Key points

• Self-disclosure is a way of making oneself known to others.
• Disclosure is inherently valuable and pleasurable.
• The motive to disclose can potentially lead to oversharing and cause negative consequences.

Self-disclosure is typically viewed as the revelation of private, personal information about feelings, experiences, and desires. Self-disclosure plays an important role in interpersonal relationships. Effective disclosures contribute to greater intimacy, trust, and closeness. Revealing intimate information can also be risky or awkward, and it may draw judgment from close others. This is increasingly true as individuals conduct more of their social lives online, particularly through the posting of photographs and videos on social media (Carbone & Loewenstein, 2023). So, how do people decide what to share?

1. Personal goals

The act of disclosure is usually deliberate and strategic. People rationally weigh the costs against the benefits of disclosing. The decision to disclose is motivated to achieve social and personal goals, such as social approval, identity clarification, relief of distress (i.e., need for catharsis), and relationship development.

2. Connectedness

It is known that feelings of social connectedness, or belongingness, and acceptance have positive effects on well-being. The act of sharing one’s thoughts and feelings with another person is critical to the development and sustaining of relationships. Research suggests that sharing thoughts and information is inherently valuable and confers a psychological benefit to those who share. In fact, suppressing the need to disclose is associated with harmful behaviors (e.g., rumination) and health problems (e.g., anxiety and high blood pressure).

3. The risks

The revelation of insecurity or weakness can expose one to judgment and social rejection. Even sharing positive information about oneself can have negative social consequences when it is perceived as bragging. A lack of feedback may lead to a sense of ostracism, which is detrimental to overall well-being. Moreover, disclosures made on social network sites are easily accessible by unintended audiences and can make the discloser vulnerable to reputational damage.

4. Impulsive sharing

Disclosure is also influenced by impulse and intense feelings that crowd out rational considerations. Just as we often find ourselves overconsuming and engaging in countless other impulsive behaviors, we can also overshare and disclose information—for example, posting embarrassing or potentially incriminating information on social media. People with psychological distress (or experiencing traumatic events) want to “vent” or achieve emotional release through self-expression. The sharing of such information often risks damaging the very social connections that are commonly assumed to motivate the disclosure in the first place.

5. Evolutionary basis

Disclosing behavior has an evolutionary basis. The desire to disclose is derivative of the desire for social connection. The desire to disclose evolved to aid in social coordination and in the dissemination of important information to members of the species for building trust. Research shows that disclosure is an integral part of emotional processing and is necessary for healthy functioning. Low levels of self-disclosure are associated with health problems, such as stress and loneliness. For instance, disclosure has been found to reduce intrusive thoughts and free up cognitive resources.

In summary, self-disclosure is a way of making the self known to others. Disclosure is often motivated by deliberate considerations or by an emotion-eliciting event. Social sharing of emotions can serve a restorative function, relieving stress and improving health.