Scared Curious?

Being scared and curious don’t seem to go with one another—except when they do.

Reviewed by Lybi Ma

Key points

• When we’re curious about something we move toward it. But when something scares us we back away.
• Any horror movie, if it’s to achieve its consciously frightening objectives, aims to scare us.
• If at some point a chosen horror movie gets a bit too scary, we would feel compelled to close our eyes.
• Anxiety can stop us in our tracks, but if we make use of our emotional intelligence, it may not be this way.

Or "scared curious" nearly at once, for we can’t be simultaneously wide-eyed while our eyes are shut tight. But when we’re actually in an unresolvable conflict about whether to welcome something or avoid it, we definitely can. And do.

Have you ever seen a horror movie? And if so, what was that experience like for you? If you’re like most people, it was probably mixed.

Part of you must have wanted to be scared, or you wouldn’t have been watching the frighteningly suspenseful flick to begin with. But if at some point it got a bit too scary for you, you would have felt compelled to close your eyes.

Then out of irresistible curiosity, you would have felt just as compelled to open them again.

In such an instance your eyes would have said it all, symbolizing your ambivalence about what you were witnessing. The fact is that any horror movie, if it’s to achieve its consciously frightening objectives, aims to scare us. Yet, strangely enough, being scared enlivens us, for it heightens our senses—just as anything perceived as dangerous drives us to be extraordinarily alert.

If you were told that a house was haunted, would there not be an adventurous, inquisitive part of you that couldn’t help but consider whether it might be fun—yes, fun!—to enter it (regardless of whether you actually followed through on this perverse impulse)?

Or let’s say it looked as though you were getting “ghosted” by someone you’d seen as a good friend. Although we all tend to shy away from rejection, hardly wanting to focus on it because it’s so hurtful—even demoralizing—to us, how many individuals might nonetheless be motivated to contact this erstwhile friend directly to be certain that what appeared accurate really was so?

Looked at somewhat differently, were you ever scared that you wouldn’t be able to achieve something but were motivated by that fear to go “full out” to prove yourself wrong? Undoubtedly, anxiety can stop us in our tracks. Still, it doesn’t necessarily operate this way if we make full use of our emotional intelligence.

On the contrary, it can drive us to push ourselves harder. It can appeal to a recessive part of us that’s usually vanquished by fear. Because certain challenges mobilize us to defy our resistance by facing up to the challenges engendered by our wariness and self-doubt.

I’m writing this post in the month of October—the “hallowed” month of Halloween when it’s typically, well, fun to feel scared. Such fear may be fabricated, pre-arranged, or artificial. But that only makes it all the more engaging. Indeed, we throw Halloween parties in its honor, so there must be something about this ever-popular holiday that attracts us—possibly, the opportunity to dress up ghoulishly.

This stage of fright, after all, allows us to take charge of our fear. And since we can feel safe in willingly participating in this scheduled masquerade—be it illusory or not—we can enjoy, maybe even revel in, taking part in it.

So don’t forget that angry, devilishly staring black cats ornamenting a neighbor’s front lawn won’t bite you. Nor will a 15-foot ghost towering over you animated by a hidden audio system “boo” at you as you walk by. You can safely laugh at both of them as you reassure the skittish child possibly trembling within you that all is well. Your superior knowledge of this curious holiday’s rigors will keep them safe, for it’s a day when appearances don’t mirror reality. They only simulate what’s not really meant to threaten you.

© 2024 Leon F. Seltzer, PhD. All Rights Reserved.