Existential Dread: What Can You Do About It?

Midlife crisis and the search for meaning.

Reviewed by Gary Drevitch

Key points

• Existential dread arises from the awareness of mortality and the absence of inherent meaning in existence.
• The freedom to choose our own path, while liberating, creates anxiety that causes us to be in limbo.
• Lying to ourselves, especially during mid-life, exacerbates our existential anxieties and guilt.
• Confronting this anxiety and embracing our freedom to create meaning offers a path toward an authentic life.

Do you ever have that nagging feeling that you're not living life to the fullest? A sense of unease, a whisper in the back of your mind questioning if this is all there is? This feeling, often amplified during midlife, can be a manifestation of existential dread—the awareness of our own mortality and the inherent lack of meaning in existence. It's that unsettling feeling that time is slipping away, that we haven't truly embraced our potential or pursued our deepest passions.

We chase success, build relationships, and pursue happiness. Yet, the nagging question persists: What if there is no grand cosmic plan, no inherent purpose to our existence? This unsettling thought can trigger a profound sense of emptiness, a feeling of being adrift in a vast, indifferent universe. This is the terrain of existential dread, a universal human experience.

While the experience can be deeply unsettling, understanding the nature of existential dread is the first step toward navigating it. Philosophers have explored this phenomenon extensively, offering insights into its origins and potential pathways to overcome its paralyzing grip.

The Paradox of Freedom: Condemned to Choose

According to existential philosophers, the roots of existential dread lie in our unique human capacity for self-awareness. We are conscious of our own mortality, of the finite nature of our existence. We are bombarded with choices, yet the sheer weight of this freedom can be paralyzing. We crave meaning and purpose, yet we are thrown into a world seemingly devoid of inherent meaning. This tension, this gap between our desire for certainty and the inherent ambiguity of existence, is the breeding ground for existential dread.

The acceleration of technological and societal change exacerbates this angst. The constant pressure to adapt, the erosion of traditional structures, and the ever-present sense of information overload contribute to a feeling of displacement and uncertainty, intensifying our existential anxieties. We are, in a sense, alienated from ourselves and the world around us by the very pace of progress.

Jean-Paul Sartre, a cornerstone of existentialist thought, famously declared that we are "condemned to be free." This statement, while seemingly paradoxical, cuts to the core of the human condition. We are responsible, Sartre argues, for creating our own meaning, values, and even our very essence. There is no pre-ordained path, no inherent purpose waiting to be discovered. We are born into a world devoid of intrinsic meaning, and it is our task, our burden, to forge our own. This freedom, while potentially exhilarating, can be a source of profound anxiety: What if I choose the wrong path? What if my choices lead to suffering, regret, and a life unlived? This inherent paradox of choice—its simultaneous potential for liberation and paralysis—lies at the heart of our existential dread.

Clearly, when Sartre said we are ‘cursed to be free’ he did not mean physical confinement, but rather the inescapable responsibility of making choices. We are constantly faced with choices, big and small, and each choice shapes who we are and the life we live. Even the seemingly insignificant choices—who to spend time with, what task to do next—contribute to the ongoing project of self-creation.

And here is the daunting part that fuels our existential dread: Sartre reminds us that even when we refuse to choose, that refusal is itself a choice. We may try to hide behind indecision, letting circumstances or other people dictate our path. We tell ourselves we had no choice, that acting otherwise would have been too difficult, too painful. We might rationalize our inaction by claiming we don't want to hurt or disappoint others. But in each instance of not choosing, we are, in fact, choosing nonetheless. Our inaction is a choice that shapes our reality just as powerfully as any action. By refusing to choose, we choose to let others determine our fate. We are choosing to abdicate our responsibility for our own lives.

For many of us, the fear of choosing "wrongly" often leads to what Sartre called "bad faith"—a self-deception in which we pretend we don't have a choice. We cling to the familiar, even when it no longer serves us, be it a job, a relationship, or even a vocation of the past. We ignore our ability to choose and let our inner drive and passion dwindle in an inauthentic life. We may adopt prescribed roles and behaviors to avoid the anxiety of genuine self-creation. This inauthenticity, however, only deepens the underlying dread.

As we journey through life, and particularly as we enter midlife, the awareness of our mortality often becomes more acute. We begin to question our choices and our tolerance for inauthenticity wears thin. A nagging sense of guilt can emerge, a feeling that we've let life slip by without fully embracing our potential or pursuing our true passions.

Sometimes, life's disruptions—a sudden illness, a job loss, the end of a relationship, or even a global event—can shake us out of our complacency and force us to confront what truly matters. They can be a wake-up call, prompting us to examine our choices and the lives we've built. While challenging, these experiences can also be profound opportunities for self-discovery and a re-evaluation of our values and priorities. They remind us of our inherent freedom to choose how we respond to life's challenges and create a more authentic and meaningful existence.

Confronting the Dread: Embracing the Freedom to Choose

The essence of Sartre's "curse" of freedom is that we are “condemned,” not to a life of restriction, but to a life of perpetual choice. We cannot escape the responsibility of creating our own meaning. This realization can be daunting, but it is also profoundly empowering. Once we accept the inescapable nature of our freedom, we can begin to engage with it consciously and deliberately, crafting a life that aligns with our deepest values and aspirations. This involves actively questioning our assumptions, exploring new possibilities, and making choices that reflect our authentic selves, even when those choices are difficult or uncertain. By embracing our freedom, we can begin to transform existential dread into a catalyst for growth, meaning, and a more fulfilling life.

• How does existential dread manifest for you, physically, emotionally, and mentally? What thoughts and images accompany it? When is it most prominent?
• Has a life event ever forced you to confront your own finitude and the responsibility of choice? How did this experience shape you?
• Recall a time you chose not to act. How did this inaction demonstrate the inescapable nature of choice, even in avoidance?
• What "bad faith" behaviors do you engage in to avoid the anxiety of freedom? What roles do you play to escape creating your own meaning and values?
• Considering your limited time, what choices will you make to create a more authentic and meaningful existence? If you knew you couldn't fail, what would you pursue? What truly energizes you?