How to Stop Spiraling Into Anxiety

Break free from the negative thoughts keeping you stuck.

Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano

Key points

• Rumination, or spiraling, is a repetitive focus on negative thoughts that can worsen anxiety and depression.
• Journaling and paying attention to physical sensations can help you recognize early signs of spiraling.
• Sharing with someone else offers perspective and helps reveal the unrealistic nature of ruminative thoughts.

Tell me whether this sounds familiar: You’re about to step into unfamiliar territory in which the future is uncertain. Maybe it’s leaving a comfortable job with a stable income for a new one that’s much more exciting and aligned with your passions but relies on commission for income. Or perhaps you’re moving to a new city where you have friends but no roots like you do in the place you’re leaving.

No matter the scenario, the uncertainty is the same. And along with the uncertainty come the negative what-ifs. You’re trying to fall asleep, and all you can think about are your future bills or the people you’re leaving behind. Your body feels tense, and there’s such a heavy weight on your chest that you can barely breathe. And then the spiraling begins and, before you know it, you’ve imagined the worst possible future for yourself that feels right around the corner.

What Is Spiraling and Why Does It Happen?

The psychological term for spiraling is rumination, and it consists of repetitively thinking about negative emotions, past events, or distressing situations. A ruminating person may dwell on past mistakes, feelings, or perceived failures, which then make them feel even worse. Rumination without self-regulation leads to increased anxiety and/or depression (Cooney et al 2010).

Some people are more likely to ruminate than others. You may have noticed that your partner can let go of their mistakes so easily that you envy them. You wish it were that easy and wonder how they can just fall asleep without endless conversations about what happened. People who are likely to ruminate might have a history of childhood trauma such as abuse or neglect (Kim et al 2017). Ruminating may also occur if you’ve experienced depression in the past (Bessette et al 2020).

Most people ruminate from time to time, and, when you do, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have a traumatic past or were depressed at some point. But if you find that you ruminate easily—meaning it doesn’t take much to throw you into a spiral— you may want to consider why that is. Talking with a mental health professional can help you get to the root cause of your spiraling.

Recognizing the Spiral as Soon as It Begins

Many people don’t realize they’re ruminating until someone points it out, and, even then, they still might not see it. But the better you get at recognizing signs of spiraling, the better you’ll get at cutting it off early.

Rumination isn’t helpful. In fact, it only makes things worse. It increases anxiety and depression, along with other negative emotions, such as shame and embarrassment, and makes people less likely to act. Ruminators end up sitting in their negative emotions and feeling awful while doing absolutely nothing to change their circumstances.

• Journaling is great way to notice when you’re stuck in a cycle of rumination, because you can see that you keep writing about the same thoughts, feelings, and situations. If you’re not already in the habit of journaling each day, get started now.
• Talking to someone else helps tremendously, because you get to hear some of the ridiculous things you’re thinking aloud. I was recently in a session with a client who was knee-deep in her spiral and as she shared her thoughts, she began laughing. Just saying her thoughts to someone else shed some much needed perspective on how unrealistic she was being.
• Paying attention to how your body feels can teach you some of the early warning signs of rumination. I sometimes notice the physical sensations before I’m aware of the thoughts that are actually creating them. Do you tend to tense your shoulders when stuck in rumination? Or do you feel it in your stomach? Is there a sense of dread in your chest, or do you get a headache? The next time you’re spiraling, see where you feel it in your body.

Pulling Yourself Out of the Spiral

Now that you’re more aware of when it starts, you need to know what to do to shut it down. Because, remember, rumination leads to anxiety and depression. Rumination does not lead to problem=solving or making healthy decisions.

• Learn how to self-regulate. Knowing how to control your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, especially when facing challenging situations, is like being able to hit a “Pause” button. It helps you stop and reflect so that you can choose the best action, rather than react impulsively. Self-regulation tools include breathing exercises, meditation, taking a break, self-talk, exercise, and journaling. Practice using different tools for different circumstances and see which ones fit you best.
• Ask yourself, “So what does this mean about me?” to get to the root cause of the issue. This is called the downward-arrow technique and is used in cognitive-behavioral therapy. When spiraling, write down your fears, and, for each one, ask yourself the magic question. You’ll be amazed at what comes out of this simple exercise.
• Talk to a trusted confidant. There’s nothing more liberating than sharing your absolute greatest fears with someone who you know will not judge or shame you. Plus, saying things aloud helps us see the ridiculousness of some of our spiraling thoughts.

If you find that you’re ruminating often or that the thoughts you have while ruminating are difficult to control, you might benefit from talking to a professional. A therapist or coach can help you develop self-regulation tools and teach you how to recognize when you’re entering the spiral zone. You don’t have to go through this alone.

To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.