What You Can Do to Spark a Gentler, Kinder World

How an Uber driver's selflessness created a cascade of goodwill.

Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

Key points

• Positive behavior is contagious and a powerful influencer of your community.
• One single act of goodwill has far-reaching consequences.
• Research shows that just by reading this post, you could be inspired to a random act of kindness.

Here's how my day began: Frustrated and in a dark mood due to a flat tire, a spare that didn't fit my wheel, and the discovery that my new AirPods were missing—likely lost as I traveled home from Philadelphia earlier in the week.

Here’s how my day ended: Filled with gratitude for the kindness of a stranger.

Here’s what happened: Upon realizing my AirPods were lost, I checked their tracker and saw they apparently had found a new home about 40 minutes away. Against my family’s advice and with a temporary fix to my tire, I took off in search of them.

The tracker led me to a house where I came up empty. The woman who answered the door looked at me blankly and said she knew nothing about missing AirPods. Disappointed, I was about to head home when I checked my tracker again. My AirPods were on the move. They were now in a neighboring town.

I navigated to this new location and was disoriented to find myself in a Scrub-a-Dub car wash parking lot. The tracker pointed me to a young man vacuuming his car. I cautiously approached him and asked if, by any chance, he might have found my AirPods.

His broad smile disarmed me. "Yes!” he said, “I was trying to find you.” Then he reached into his car, retrieved my AirPods case, and handed it to me. I thanked him profusely and tried to offer him some money as a token of my appreciation. He refused, still smiling. I insisted. He refused again.

"I'm good. Please give it to someone who needs it more than I do,” he said.

I asked his name—Guilherme. Thanking him again, I made one last attempt to give him the money. “Just a hug,” he said, and this lovely young man gave me a hug.

I later learned he was the Uber driver who had driven my friends and me to our cars earlier in the week. He was in the process of calling every single person he had driven that day to locate the AirPods' owner.

Lessons learned from this experience

Guilherme’s generous act was a startling reminder that we live in a kind and generous world. While his good deed was directed at me, he may not have known that many others would benefit from his actions, perhaps even setting off a chain reaction that will help bridge our troubled country.

Numerous studies show that positive behavior is contagious. It has a ripple effect, creating a cascade of goodwill that can transform workplaces, neighborhoods, and even entire communities.

For example, one study revealed that acts of kindness can have far-reaching effects within organizations because a single act also encourages the benefactor to engage in similar behavior. The “givers” in this study influenced the “receivers” to pay it forward, generally resulting in at least three additional kind acts initiated by the receivers.

Other studies confirmed that altruistic acts are indeed contagious. Remarkably, it was determined that this ripple effect of generosity continues with up to three degrees of separation. Long after the initial act, a single kindness will inspire subsequent actions that have a cascading influence deeply influencing a community.

Let’s not forget about the original catalyst of a good deed—the individual whose altruism sets this positive cycle in motion. The benefits of being like Guilherme are powerful and potentially life-changing. Altruism sparks a boomerang effect, where the positive behavior spirals back to the initiator, enhancing both mental and physical health, resulting in greater happiness, and even decreased mortality rates. In essence, the kindness we extend to others circles back to us in the most surprising and profound ways.

Guilherme’s kindness certainly put my flat tire into perspective. Even more, it alleviated the discontent that had overwhelmed me about our polarized political environment. It reminded me that, even in our most challenging times, we are part of a larger community and have the power to lift each other up. Through small gestures, we can begin to mend the divide and foster a more supportive, kinder community.

How to pay kindness forward

Later in the week, when a nail salon technician significantly overcharged me, I thought about Guilherme’s words and decided not to argue, thinking she might need the money. I donated to a political campaign, hoping to make some small difference in our country. I gave a friend a necklace I was wearing after she admired it. I took time out to help a friend with her dating profile. I also worked a bit harder on listening to those with opposing political views.

There’s more: I smiled more. I held doors open. I expressed appreciation to sales clerks, medical staff, and waiters. When someone annoyed me, I embraced the realization that we never know what burden others are carrying, and I let go of my exasperation. With every act, I felt lighter and happier. And I sought to pay that feeling forward.

As the research predicts, each of those individuals I touched will pay forward three (or more) kind acts, which will lead to nine (or more) additional kind acts and those to 27 (or more) kind acts—for a minimum of 39 small generosities that will serve to elevate moods, lighten burdens and bring joy.

Here’s the best part because it’s about you: Positive social behavior extends beyond those directly affected. Bystanders who only observe or hear about acts of kindness are likelier to reach out thoughtfully to others. This suggests that even being a passive witness to good deeds will spread goodwill—so just by reading this, you are poised to engage in a selfless act! Consider the vast waves of positivity my lost—and then found—AirPods have set in motion.

Here are some ideas for intentional acts of kindness to consider.

• Compliment a stranger.
• Look your sales clerk, gas station attendant, or restaurant worker in the eye, use their name if you know it, and say, “Thank you.”
• Spontaneously give something away.
• Be patient in traffic. Forget you have a horn and allow others to pass.
• End an argument by letting go; don’t dig in just to be right.
• Ask an elderly neighbor if they need anything from the grocery store.

Each small act will enact a chain reaction, knitting together with threads of goodwill our tattered social fabric. Think of it as a pebble in a pond radiating far-reaching circles of generosity.

What will you do today to spur a kinder, more generous world?