3 Ways Struggling Adult Children Can Turn Their Lives Around
From boundaries to bold choices, guide adult children to reclaim their future.
by Jeffrey Bernstein Ph.D. · Psychology TodayReviewed by Jessica Schrader
Key points
- Even the most difficult situations can lead to profound growth.
- Creating a budget, finding part-time work, or reducing reliance on parents can foster personal responsibility.
- Seeking treatment is not a sign of weakness—it’s a courageous act of self-care.
For struggling adult children, turning their lives around can seem overwhelming, especially when faced with challenges like financial instability, addiction, or lack of direction. As a coach for parents of adult children, I’ve witnessed incredible turnarounds—proof that even the most difficult situations can lead to profound growth. With the right mindset and action plan, transformation is not only possible—it’s within reach. Here are three proven strategies, illustrated by real-life examples, to help adult children rise above their struggles and build fulfilling lives.
Embrace Financial Boundaries and Learn Independence
When parents set financial boundaries, it can initially feel like rejection. It’s an opportunity for struggling adult children to develop independence and resilience. Learning to navigate financial responsibilities is an essential life skill that lays the groundwork for long-term success.
Take Logan, a 28-year-old who relied on his parents for rent, groceries, and car payments. Logan’s parents decided to set firm boundaries, offering him one month to find a job and wean off their support. The request seemed harsh, but it was a wake-up call. Logan found a part-time job at a local warehouse, started budgeting, and eventually transitioned into a full-time role. While it wasn’t easy, Logan began to take pride in managing his finances and paying down his debts.
For adult children like Logan, small steps toward financial independence—such as creating a budget, finding part-time work, or reducing reliance on parents—build confidence and foster a sense of personal responsibility.
Seek Treatment for Addiction or Mental Health Struggles
One of the most challenging yet rewarding decisions struggling adult children can make is to address underlying issues such as substance abuse or mental health concerns. Professional treatment often serves as the turning point that leads to healing and growth.
Consider Jasmine, a 25-year-old battling alcohol addiction. After years of denial and strained family relationships, Jasmine hit rock bottom when she was evicted from her apartment. Her parents, while supportive, refused to pay her bills or bail her out. Instead, they offered to help her find a treatment program. Reluctantly, Jasmine agreed to enter rehab. With therapy, group support, and an unwavering commitment to sobriety, Jasmine began to rebuild her life. Today, she volunteers at a recovery center and has reconnected with her family.
Seeking treatment is not a sign of weakness—it’s a courageous act of self-care. Whether it’s therapy, a rehabilitation program, or support groups like AA, these resources can guide adult children toward a healthier and more stable future.
Make a Bold Life Choice for Discipline and Direction
Sometimes, turning your life around requires a dramatic shift. Choosing a structured and goal-oriented path, like joining the military, enrolling in a technical program, or pursuing a certification, can provide purpose and discipline.
For Isaiah, a 22-year-old high school graduate without a clear direction, life felt stagnant. After several failed attempts at community college and sporadic part-time jobs, Isaiah enlisted in the Navy. While the initial transition was grueling, the military gave him structure, self-discipline, and a sense of belonging. He learned technical skills and earned educational benefits, eventually completing his degree in engineering.
Big decisions like this are not for everyone, but for those feeling lost, they can offer a way to reset and find a purpose. Programs such as AmeriCorps, trade schools, or apprenticeships also provide alternative avenues for growth and self-discovery.
Final Thoughts: Turning Struggles Into Strengths
While the transformation journey is deeply personal, the willingness to embrace change, take accountability, and seek support are universal steps toward success. Struggling adult children can turn their lives around by embracing financial boundaries, seeking treatment, or making bold life choices.
Parents play a critical role by setting firm yet loving boundaries and offering guidance without enabling. Ultimately, the power to change rests with the individual, but the ripple effects of that change can strengthen family bonds and inspire hope.
Transformation is not instant, but every step—no matter how small—can lead to a brighter and more empowered future.