The Single Best Advice for Singles to Meet Someone

To ease your dating woes, try engaging in the activities you actually like.

Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano

Key points

• If standard ways to meet people to date are not pleasant for you, then maybe they just aren't right for you.
• Instead, things tend to work out for you when you actually enjoy the process and genuinely have fun.
• Enjoying something makes it more likely for you to keep doing it and appear attractive while doing it.
• A priority should be determining what makes you happy and fulfilled.

If you are single, you may have heard some of the standard blah-blah-blah suggestions about how to meet that special someone—dating apps and websites to use, singles meetups like speed dating to attend, matchmakers to call. That's all well and good if you actually enjoy doing such things. However, if such suggestions elicit sighs, groans, nausea, or even excessive itching from your inner self, then maybe they just aren't right for you.

After all, no single method works for all singles, especially when it feels like a lot of work. And the single last thing you want is to waste a lot of money, effort, and, most important, time doing something painful yet unproductive.

Instead, things tend to work better when you actually enjoy the process and have fun doing them. This has to be real fun and not forced, fake fun. When you are truly having fun doing something, some magical things can happen such as:

• You tend to keep doing it: Yeah, you're probably not going to say, "Oh, geez, do I have to do something fun again?" And you know the saying about how showing up is half the battle.
• You will get better at it: People don't tend to say things like, "I hate twerking but I am so good at it." No, you tend to be better at what you enjoy.
• You will see more angles and opportunities: When having more fun, you are more likely to relax. And when you relax, all parts of your body tend to open up, meaning, in this case, your eyes and mind.
• You may become more attractive: When you are having fun, you are also more likely to appear and be more fun.
• At the very least you'll entertain yourself: Why watch reality TV for entertainment when reality itself can entertain?

So, maybe the best way to meet someone special is to take the following four steps:

1. Figure out what you really like to do
2. Determine how you can do it in a way that allows you to meet more people
3. Do it more.
4. Keep doing it.

This could apply to choosing which standard dating activities and avenues may work for you. For example, if you love maneuvering through crowds and sipping on drinks, then maybe singles Happy Hours are better for you than things more remote like dating apps. This could also mean finding ways to make different standard blah-blah-blah dating routes less blah and more fun. For example, how about going to singles meetups at places where you would have wanted to go anyway? If the meetup is at a cool museum and the art of small talk isn't working for you, you could simply check out the art on the walls instead.

Alternatively, the aforementioned four steps could tell you that none of the standard blah-blah-blah dating routes are right for you. Ultimately, anything that can bring you into contact with more people can help increase your dating possibilities. And many activities when done regularly can do this, with the possible exception of solo ice fishing.

Here's another bonus of doing something you enjoy. You are more likely to meet people who enjoy the same things. For example, chances are dance classes won't be filled with people who despise dancing.

Ultimately, the best thing for you to do dating-wise is to do what works best for you life-wise. Don't view dating as something that should force you to derail or put on hold other aspects of your life.

Instead, keep in mind that having the right lifestyle, attitude, and outlook for you can be conducive to attracting the right person. Therefore, do things that make you feel happy and fulfilled. If you don't know what makes you happy, figuring that out should be a priority for many different reasons. After all, if you can't even be happy yourself, how can you expect others to be happy around you?