Why Society Never Put Self-Reliance On A Pedestal

I wrote a whole book about practicing self-reliance. I didn’t write it because I am a strong, independent woman, which I am; I wrote it because I feel society has gone soft, and too many people are waiting for permission from ‘others.’ The truth is, if you know the skills and have the tools to rely on yourself, not only will you be happier, but you will also become a valuable contributor to society, your family, your community and your relationships.

Parents are swooping in to save their children so much that not only are children not capable of doing things for themselves - they don’t want to and have become entitled. Some younger generations lack the ability to make their own decisions and rely on mom and dad to save them instead of having to figure things out on their own. The reason? They haven’t been taught the importance of self-reliance. They rely on their phones, on their parents, on social media instead of relying on themselves. And then they are entering the workforce, with skewed expectations of what they want their employers to do for them.

Too often:

• We expect our bosses and managers to drive our careers and make us rock stars at work and to reward us and promote us. We wait for others to give us opportunities to shine, when we can actually create those opportunities for ourselves by listening, anticipating needs and being strategic on timing and approach. We don’t take the initiative to bring value to our employers by stepping up and delivering exceptional results.;
• We expect others to prioritize our needs, when in fact we know what's truly in our best interest;
• We outsource decision-making –which is a critical muscle to build and develop especially when facing adversity or challenges – when in fact we should rely on our gut and intuition to guide us and listen to our needs because we live out the consequences of our decisions;
• We trust others before we trust ourselves. Social comparisons, amplified by social media, fuel insecurities, leading us to defer to others when we should be betting on ourselves.

Self-reliance is a superpower. It not only makes you valuable, but it also makes you indispensable to others. Society, however, has never put self-reliance on a pedestal and rarely celebrates it. The term often gets a bad rap, and is seen as synonymous with independence or selfishness, as though self-reliant people don’t need anyone else. This misunderstanding is why self-reliance needs both a redefinition and a rebrand. My definition of self-reliance has nothing to do with independence.

It has everything to do with investing in yourself, betting on yourself, and trusting yourself. It's about making yourself the most powerful asset you can be a meaningful contributor to society. When you focus on your growth, and bring your best self and power to the table, you become a net positive to the world around you.

What if we all focused on improving ourselves first? Too often, we blame others for our unhappiness, when the truth is, we alone are responsible for our outcomes. It's time to recognize the value of our own potential and invest in it.

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The new narrative of self-reliance is about:

• Being a lifelong learner, not expecting others to teach you but seeking out knowledge on your own. The internet, podcasts, books, and conversations are incredible FREE resources we can access daily.
• Understanding that knowledge is powerful and valuable. So why not rely on yourself to be a wellspring of skills, understanding, and knowledge?
• Stepping up and putting in the work and effort instead of relying on others to do everything for you.
• Being a value creator for others. If you learn how to create value for other people, they will know you are reliable, you will have a positive impact on others and you will be irreplaceable for your employer and team members.

Self-reliance breeds strong individuals, which in turn creates strong workplaces, communities, and a vibrant, self-actualized society.

Imagine a world where we are all programmed to trust ourselves, invest in our growth, and confidently take ownership of our decisions.

Sign me up.