'There are many reasons I go to Mass, and boring my kids with screen-free time is one of them'

FOR CHRISTIAN FAMILIES, Sunday just gone marked All Saints’ Day, and today we celebrate All Souls’ Day.

In the Catholic tradition, November is traditionally the month for remembering the dead. Honouring the dead is an important part of Irish identity.  

This year All Saints’ Day, a holy day of obligation, fell on a Sunday which is also a holy day of obligation. One Mass for two days of obligation. I’d be lying if I said I did not consider this a win.

Last week, a writer in the Irish Times said that he stopped going to Mass 22 years ago and that every Sunday since he felt grateful to be free of the obligation. Arguably, if Séamus O’Reilly felt the need to discuss this sense of relief in a national newspaper there is still part of him that recognises that going to Sunday mass is an important tradition for many families.

Many people who do not attend Mass believe that the churches are empty. This is not my experience. I attend Mass every Sunday with my family or at least the children (four ranging from aged 5 to 17) I can manage to round up and get out the door on time.

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OK, perhaps that is a white lie that I will have to confess: I attend most Sundays. The Catechism of the Catholic Church affirms that faithful Catholics must attend Mass on Sundays and any holy day of obligation.

Some lapsed Catholics might feel relief at not ‘having’ to attend Mass every week and in many ways I can understand that. I do not always look forward to attending mass but once I manage to get there with the children I am happy I did.

In this way, the description of attending mass as an obligation is an apt one. It is a duty to go, and your emotional state is not important. I also feel it is important to instil the lesson in the children that life involves doing things they do not necessarily want to do such as cleaning their room, completing homework and, indeed, attending mass.

I do attend mass for religious reasons, but there are plenty of non-religious reasons why I go. I enjoy the sense of community. My parents go to mass too, and I feel a genuine sense of warmth sitting in the church with them on one side and my children on the other. I hope the children feel a sense of security from this too. Also, mass can be one of the few places where people from different generations come together as one.

Many children might complain that they are bored at Mass, which I believe is a very good reason to make them go. The media is awash with stories of children who can no longer concentrate for any length of time because of the advent of the smartphone and social media. I admit my teenage son is very attached to his phone and the 40 minutes he must sit at Mass without it is surely improving his brainpower. I can only hope it also goes somewhat to improving his soul and character.

There are also religious reasons why I attend almost-weekly. I am a conservative and I like old things. The first reading is always taken from the Old Testament or Hebrew Bible. That has been around for well over 2,000 years and I enjoy listening to something that has been read out for centuries and will be read out to a congregation long after I am gone.

You also must set any political differences you might have with your fellow Catholics and come together as one.

Finally, you can learn about the basics of the Roman Empire.

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The second reading and Gospel are of course taken from the New Testament and although the passages have undergone frequent translation over 1,500 years (from its original Greek to the Latin Vulgate by St Jerome and finally into English) they too are old.

Lessons learned

I want the children to learn to love their neighbour and that only he who has not sinned can cast the first stone. The values of the Beatitudes, blessed are the peacemakers for instance, stand in great contrast to those promoted on social media. I hope they can absorb these values by listening most weeks. 

Many people still come back to the church in times of celebration such as Christmas and Easter. This is because we are social creatures who yearn for a sense of community in the face of individualism and tradition in the face of shallow consumerism. We are more than an Amazon delivery or a Facebook account.

Sunday is also a day of rest, but work and consumerism seek to devour more and more family time. Non-religious Jews celebrate Shabbat, the family dinner every Friday, and all of my Muslim friends in London celebrate Ramadan.

Family celebrations are consistent across the three main religions for a reason – families coming together to feast and celebrate are the bedrock of any faith. Without them, you have only empty rituals.

Laura Perrins is a mother of four and writes on Substack at The West Brit