Don’t Stare, Just Ask: Birmingham’s Sandey Greene Shares How Her Alopecia Journey Led to Her Helping Others

By Solomon Crenshaw Jr. | For the Birmingham Times

Sandey Greene says she was a hottie when she had hair.

“I’ve always had long, thick, coarse hair down my back,” said Greene, who lives near the Forestdale area.

That changed when she began to lose her hair. She hid that truth for more than 25 years.

“I wore wigs, weaves, braids, head coverings, whatever I had to do to cover the fact that I was going bald,” she said. “Even people that I dated never had seen my head.

“It was hard. It was hard for me,” she recalled. “My children and grandchildren had never seen my head.”

Greene is among millions of Americans who currently have or will develop alopecia areata during their lifetime. The National Alopecia Areata Foundation currently uses about 7 million as its U.S. figure for people who experience hair loss.

Alopecia is a broad term for hair loss. It includes androgenetic alopecia (male/female pattern hair loss), traction alopecia, scarring alopecia, and other conditions. The 7-million figure specifically refers to alopecia areata, not all forms of hair loss.

Many people with the condition conceal it, as Greene did. But she hides it no more. Now she is an advocate for alopecia awareness. In June 2022, she formed Don’t Stare! Just Ask, an organization that promotes education, inclusion and support for those with the condition.

Don’t Stare! Just Ask (DSJA) will conduct its fifth Alopecia Awareness Walk on Saturday, Sept. 19 at Fultondale’s Black Creek Park. The event is from 9 a.m. to noon, with the walk starting at 10 a.m. The aim, Greene said, is to turn stares into understanding.

“I’m so excited because I never imagined it would grow to where it is today,” said Greene, who calls herself “Mz. Bawldie” and “The Bawld One.”

“Each year it gets bigger, and I’m grateful for every person who has supported this journey,” she added.

The Diagnosis

Greene initially felt burning and itching on the crown of her head, but her hair wasn’t coming out.

“It was just the symptoms of the itching, the burning,” she recalled. “My scalp was very, very sensitive, and the doctor just said I had alopecia. That was it. I had to research it, and I looked it up. I read what it said, but it still didn’t mean anything because my hair wasn’t coming out.”

Eventually that would change. Greene was devastated when she started losing her hair. She would hide her head, and she would hide her tears.

“I was very depressed, especially when it really started to come out,” she said. “I was suicidal. I had to go and talk to a doctor. People would ask when I tell them my journey, ‘You would want to kill yourself over hair?’ Yes, because my hair was a part of me, and I was losing something that I loved, something that was close to me, and that was my hair. I had to go and seek help.”

Greene embraced her condition, shaved her head and let her hairless scalp be seen. Getting to this point took time.

“I had shaved it the year prior, but it didn’t work out,” she said. “I let it go back in the spots that it grew back in and I started back wearing the wigs, the weaves. But this particular time in 2022, talking to God in the mirror, I shaved. After shaving my head, after crying, I put on makeup and took pictures and sent it to all of my children and my grandchildren.”

Greene figured if anyone was going to laugh at her, it was going be her family. But they didn’t laugh.

“They have never said nothing negative, even my grandchildren,” the 58-year-old said. “If I have a hat on or a scarf, they would take it off because they’re used to me being bald. That’s just so funny to me.”

Teachable Moments

Greene wasn’t content with her own renewed esteem. Prompted by her conversation with God, she wanted that for others with the condition.

“I didn’t want people to feel the way I felt,” she said. “I felt so alone. I felt like there was no one there for me. I had no one there for me. I would go to the barbershop with them, to the doctor’s appointment, whatever a person called me for, that’s what I do. I’m what I didn’t have.”

Greene is a third-grade teacher’s aide in Birmingham City Schools. She recalls her experience at Tuggle Elementary when students pointed, laughed and stared at her. She saw that as a teaching moment.

“I had to pull them to the side and apologize first of all because I came into their school and did not explain to them what alopecia was,” she said. “After I told them what alopecia was, everything changed. Oh, at first, it was hard. Oh goodness. In the beginning, they just thought it was a bald-headed lady coming to our school and it was a joke. But once I talked to them, I explained to them what alopecia was, and let them know what they were doing was bullying. In an Alabama school system, you cannot bully anyone.”

But the students took on the rallying cry. “They would walk down the hallway, hollering, ‘Don’t stare! Just ask.'”

Greene currently teaches at Hemphill Elementary, and she’s given the same lesson to students there.

“I’m just there now,” she said. “It doesn’t faze them.”

Don’t Stare! Just Ask

Don’t Stare! Just Ask advocates for people with alopecia through:

• Support and education, providing a community in which people with alopecia can talk openly about hair loss, self-image and the emotional impact of the condition. Greene has held social gatherings that combined fellowship, education and support.
• Public awareness through social media, videos and public appearances to encourage people to ask questions about alopecia rather than stare or make assumptions.
• Legislative advocacy, as Greene identifies herself as one of Alabama’s legislative liaisons for alopecia awareness with the National Alopecia Areata Foundation. She works with elected officials and government officials on awareness and legislation.
• Her personal testimony, which comes through her book, Crowned: A Journey of Heartbreak While Battling Alopecia. It remains an important part of her advocacy, chronicling her own experience with losing her hair and rebuilding her confidence. She has also written The Holmes Brothers: Don’t Stare! Just Ask and All That Pizza: Little Nevaeh’s Journey with Alopecia.

Greene has addressed the scripture 1 Corinthians 11:15, which reads, “But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.”

“It does talk about the woman’s hair is her glory,” she said. “But my hair coming out is medical. This is a medical condition. This is not something that is a phase that I’m just doing. This is a medical condition that I have no control over.

“God made all of us and I believe in my heart that He created me differently,” Greene said. “This is how He created me and it’s for a purpose to let people know that because you are different doesn’t mean it’s negative. You being different doesn’t mean you are less.”

To learn more about Don’t Stare, Just Ask and to register for its fifth Alopecia Awareness Walk on Saturday, Sept. 19 at Fultondale’s Black Creek Park, visit dontstarejustask.com.