“I Opened the Door, and I Was Like, ‘What? Did You Just Ask Me to Marry You’”

By Mia Watkins | For the Birmingham Times

Anthony & Salena Cook

Live: Pell City

Married: December 31, 1994

Met: The Cooks met after a wave and a glance, walking to and from math class. Both were students at Auburn University and had classes in the same building, explained Salena Cook.

“We were passing each other on the concourse, and I was with my roommate,” she said. “He waved to us, and we waved back. We walked a few yards ahead, and I stopped. My roommate was like, ‘What are you stopping for?’ I said, ‘I just met my husband.’”

Salena soon found herself in need of a job on campus.

“When I got my job, my manager told me to come back that night, and the student manager would be there to help show me what to do,” she said. “When I got there that night, [Anthony] was the student manager.”

Anthony only remembers the second meeting, but that would kick off a friendship that led to forever.

“The way I remember it is meeting her that night at work,” he said. “We were actually friends before we started dating. That’s where we became friends, when we were working together.”

He said their friendship grew into something more.

“Part of what attracted me to her is that she had wife vibes, even before we started dating,” he said. “What I mean by that is, we would hang out at her apartment a lot of the time. When I say we, I mean the whole work crew. She would cook, and it was like home cooking. She was always cleaning and very maternal in her demeanor. That was something that was appealing to me. I remember telling one of our friends, ‘If I ever get married, that’s who I’m going to marry.’”

Salena maintains that she knew from the beginning, but she said it took a while for the two friends to grow into a couple.

“Us spending all this time together as a friend group, we just kind of got to a point where it evolved into more,” she said. “I knew in the beginning, for me anyway, I was just waiting on him to turn the switch on. When is he going to make his move? When is he going to recognize that I’m feeling it over here?”

First date: “One of the first dates I remember is that we went to the movies,” Anthony said. “We went to see ‘Jurassic Park.’ We were watching, and she said she was scared, and I turned to her and said, ‘I’m scared, too.’”

Because the two were broke college students, most of their dates involved hanging out with their friend group or doing things around campus.

“We were like in the two-dollar club,” Anthony remembers with a laugh.

“We worked in the cafeteria, and that’s how we fed each other,” Salena added.

The turn: Anthony said he knew Salena was going to be his wife after that conversation with his friend, but he was also moving into the next phase of his life.

“It was just this understanding that I was coming to a place where I was getting serious about next moves,” he said. “I was getting ready to graduate, I was breezing through my junior year and becoming a senior. I was thinking about next steps, and I think that’s when proposing became something that was a real thing for me.”

Salena was also thinking about what the rest of her life was going to look like, especially after Anthony’s undergraduate internship put them almost two hours away from each other.

“I never really got to the point where I was 100-percent sure that this was going to be what I was going to be doing until he had left school to go do his internship at The Anniston Star,” she said. “I was in Auburn, and he was in Anniston, and that was when I was like, I don’t like being away from him. I felt like he was going to have to be a part of my life in order for me to feel whole. That’s when I started thinking that I really hope this works out because if it doesn’t, I’m going to be heartbroken.”

The proposal: Anthony said that hindsight is 20/20 when it comes to him popping the question.

“It was a lesson for me,” he said. “We actually do marriage counseling together now, and this is one of the things I use as a lesson. I did not put any effort into it.”

Anthony said the two were in Salena’s apartment, hanging out and eating food.

“We would get Subway sandwiches or pizza, and we would hang out and listen to Otis Redding. Oh, and hot chocolate, she makes the best hot chocolate,” he recalled. “I just kind of was like, ‘So, you gonna marry me or what?’

Anthony said he wishes he’d put more thought into it.

“That’s one of my greatest regrets, that I did not make a big deal of the proposal,” he said. “I told my son when he was getting ready to get married, and we went with him to purchase the ring, ‘Man, make it a big deal. You’re only going to propose once in your whole life.’ I told him that was the one regret I have. He did. He made it special. I’m proud that he did it.”

Salena was taken by surprise.

“I didn’t know if he was serious,” she said. “I was actually behind a closed door when he said it. I opened the door, and I was like, ‘What? Did you just ask me to marry you’ He said, ‘Yeah. What are we going to do?’”

The wedding: The wedding was a family affair at Salena’s home church, Rocky Elvy Baptist Church, near Troy, Alabama. The colors were black and red.

“She had nieces and nephews who were a part of the wedding,” he said. “My brother was my best man.”

Salena remembers her father’s reaction to the nuptials.

“I am one of seven girls that my dad and my mom had, so I was really, really close with my dad,” she said. “My dad, he was so funny, as we were getting to walk into the church, he kept saying Old Buddy, which is what he called me. ‘Old Buddy, are you sure? Now, we can go home if you want to.’ I said, ‘No, Daddy, I’m fine.” My dad had walked five or four other girls down the aisle before me. Once the services were over, and we were getting ready to walk out of the church, my dad stood up and gave me a hug. At that moment, I was thinking, ‘Let me go back to my husband.’ My dad had me in a bear hug, and he won’t let me go.”

Anthony also remembers learning something from that display of fatherly affection.

“It was just a moment,” he said. “It speaks to how close they were and what it meant to him to see her getting married. It also spoke to me about how important the role was that I was stepping into.”

Anthony’s clearest memory of the day is before the ceremony, which also informs the marriage counseling sessions he does with couples as a pastor.

“I was back in the pastor’s office with him,” he said. “The only real discussion he had with me was whether I was nervous or not. No real instructions about what I was going into. That’s something I’ve carried with me into our marriage counseling sessions we do now. I try to emphasize the value and importance of premarital counseling because it makes a difference to know what you’re getting yourself into.”

The honeymoon: The two went to New Orleans with Anthony’s aunt and her husband.

“We were in New Orleans, but again, we were mostly broke,” he laughed. “So, we mostly were walking around looking at all the stuff we wanted to do.”

The couple recreated the trip for their 30th wedding anniversary.

Words of wisdom: Anthony said there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. His own was transformed by his faith.

“It wasn’t until I came to Christ and started to understand what God says about marriage and what my role is as a husband, that revolutionized our marriage,” he said. “I started to learn what it meant to be a husband, and seeing the change in me made her a better wife. I’m thankful for the change that God has made in our marriage. Get to know Christ and find someone who knows Christ. Make Him a part of your marriage, and that will make all the difference in the world.”

Salena echoes his advice. She also tells wives to leave room for grace in the relationship.

“Leave room for mistakes, and leave room for forgiveness,” she said. “Both things are going to have to happen. We are both going to make mistakes. When I make mine, I need him to be ready to forgive. When he makes his, I need to have room for forgiveness as well.”

Happily ever after: Both of the Cooks work at Alabama Power. They are also parents to two adult sons and an adult daughter. They have three grandchildren and one on the way. Tragically, they lost a grandson a couple of years ago. Anthony pastors at Christian Fellowship Bible Church in Anniston.

“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to editor@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.

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