A Brief Conversation With Rob Reiner About Fathers, Friendship and Living a Good Life

I interviewed Rob Reiner twice in the last six months, both times about “Spinal Tap” — once solo and once with Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer, his longtime friends and the actors/bandmembers in the film. While both of those interviews are excellent, funny and essential for fans of the film — their chemistry and occasional crankiness as septuagenarian-plus friends is palpable — it was a brief conversation we had before the solo interview that has resonated, even prior to his and his wife’s shocking deaths last week.

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We started off talking about our fathers — we were on a Zoom, it was a beautiful Friday in late June, and Rob asked where I was calling from. I said my dad’s house, and mentioned that he’d just gotten home from work at his law firm, which he still runs at the age of 89.

Rob then told the story of how his father, legendary writer-director Carl Reiner, had passed away at the age of 98 immediately after having dinner with his best friend, Mel Brooks: They said “Good night,” Brooks heard a thump, and Carl had died instantly of a heart attack. I told Rob that my grandfather had passed away at 87, in his favorite chair, with a newspaper in his lap. We agreed that there are few better ways to exit this life.

After we’d finished our interview I brought the laptop into the next room and introduced Rob to my dad. He was, of course, super-nice to my father and gave him props for his work longevity and added, “Well, your son comes to visit you, that’s a nice thing!” My dad was a little startled but pleased, and has mentioned it a few times since then.

Rob was exceptionally warm both times I spoke with him and, without being exploitative or morbid here, it’s so sad that he and Michele Singer, his wife of nearly 40 years, died in a way that was so far from the one we’d talked about. This is the story he told at the beginning of that first interview.

“For years [after their wives had passed away], my dad and Mel Brooks would have dinner and watch TV, every single night — they were best friends.

“On the night my dad died, Mel was leaving at the end of the night, and he said, ‘Goodnight Carl!’ And just as he was about to walk out the door, he heard a thud, and my dad just fell down — he was dead, like, immediately. I got over there about five minutes later, and he was gone. But, you know, it’s the best way to go: fast, and not have pain or linger.

“And then Mel, even after my dad died, would come to the house very night, for months and months and months, by himself, and sit there and watch television and have dinner. Even long after my father died. And he said to me and my brother, ‘You’ve got to give me a little warning when you’re going to sell the house, you’ll want to tell me ahead of time.’ And I told him, ‘Well, Mel, maybe we’ll just stage the house with you in it and up the value!’ (laughter)

“They were best friends. They loved each other, and I’m glad they had each other at the end of life. It’s good to have somebody that you can hang with.”