Before You Try a Sleep Divorce, These Simpler Solutions Might Be Enough

Nobody warns you that sharing a bed is one of the harder parts of a relationship. Not the fights, not the finances. The snoring. The alarm that is not yours. The covers yanked to the other side at 2 a.m.

Night after night, small disruptions stack up until one of you ends up on the couch wondering if this is just how it is now.

It is common enough that there is a name for it. Nearly one in three U.S. adults said they tried a sleep divorce in 2025, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. But sleeping separate is not the only path to better rest. Sometimes the thing keeping you awake is more fixable than you think.

What Is a Sleep Divorce and Why Are So Many People Trying It?

A sleep divorce is when partners sleep in separate beds or rooms to reduce nighttime disruptions and get better rest. Despite the name, it does not necessarily mean the relationship is in trouble.

The trend has stayed remarkably consistent. About 35 percent of Americans said they occasionally or consistently slept separately in 2023. That number dipped to 29 percent in 2024 before climbing back to 31 percent in 2025, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine's Sleep Prioritization Survey. Adults ages 35–44 were the most likely group at 39 percent, compared to just 18 percent of adults 65 and older.

"The term might sound alarming, but it's not about ending a relationship - it's about prioritizing sleep health and addressing the sleep issues that may be eroding a relationship," AASM spokesperson Dr. Seema Khosla said in an AASM release.

Couples also make less drastic adjustments. The 2025 survey found 37 percent went to bed at a different time than they wanted and 15 percent used a silent alarm. In 2024, 10 percent had tried the Scandinavian sleep method, where partners share a mattress but use two separate blankets.

"A sleep divorce is not a sign of a relationship in trouble – it allows for honest conversation about disruptive habits and allows each person to enjoy uninterrupted, restorative sleep," Dr. Khosla added.

Why Snoring Is Behind So Many Sleep Divorces

Snoring is one of the top complaints that drive couples to separate bedrooms. If you have ever wondered how to sleep with a snoring partner, you are not alone.

Bed partners of heavy snorers are up to three times more likely to have difficulty falling or staying asleep, according to a 2017 literature review in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine.

A 2023 study published in Cureus followed 70 people with obstructive sleep apnea and their partners. Among couples who did not always sleep together, 86 percent pointed to snoring as the main complaint. After treatment, 72.4 percent of those couples began sharing a bed again, suggesting the sleep arrangement was a symptom of an addressable health issue rather than the relationship itself.

Loud, frequent snoring accompanied by gasping, choking or pauses in breathing can be a sign of obstructive sleep apnea and warrants medical evaluation, according to Johns Hopkins Medicine.

How Poor Sleep Can Hurt Your Relationship

A partner's nighttime habits affect more than just hours slept. Sleep loss can shape mood, stress levels and how couples handle disagreements.

A study published in Psychoneuroendocrinology randomly assigned 30 couples to either one night of total sleep deprivation or normal sleep before having them discuss a recurring conflict. Sleep-deprived couples showed higher cortisol during the discussion and less positive emotion before and afterward.

Even one bad night can make relationship conflict more stressful. That is part of why sleeping separately does not automatically mean a couple is struggling. For some, protecting each person's rest may actually reduce a major source of daytime tension.

"We know that poor sleep can worsen your mood, and those who are sleep deprived are more likely to argue with their partners. There may be some resentment toward the person causing the sleep disruption which can negatively impact relationships," Dr. Khosla said in a 2023 AASM release.

Sleep Solutions to Try Before Sleeping in Separate Beds

Before committing to a sleep divorce, it is worth identifying what is actually causing the disruption. A few targeted sleep solutions may be all you need.

For snoring and noise, earplugs, white noise machines or sleep earbuds can help mask the sound. Newer sleep earbuds combine passive isolation with noise masking and in some models active noise cancellation.

Snoring itself can sometimes be reduced by switching to side sleeping, since lying flat on the back tends to make it worse. Persistent or loud snoring should be evaluated for sleep apnea.

For blanket and temperature conflicts, the Scandinavian sleep method lets each partner control their own warmth without giving up the shared mattress.

When schedules clash, staggered bedtimes and silent alarms can reduce disruption. And for movement, a mattress with better motion isolation makes tossing and turning less noticeable.

No single fix works for every couple. But the useful first step is figuring out what is actually keeping you awake before deciding that separate bedrooms are the only answer.

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This story was originally published August 20, 2026 at 12:00 PM.