People Will Never Forget These 71 Things Their Therapists Told Them As They Were Life-Changing
by Miguel Ordoñez, Viktorija Ošikaitė · Bored PandaADVERTISEMENT
Effective therapists don’t necessarily provide instant cures for mental struggles. Instead, they help people reframe thoughts more favorably through words of wisdom that may leave a lasting impact.
These words are a huge deal for patients whose lives have improved. Some are opening up in this Reddit thread that asks, “What’s one thing a therapist has said to you that you will never forget?”
One person shared their renewed perspective on the concept of family. Another individual received one of the most unique and eye-opening pieces of advice about letting go of ill feelings.
Whether or not you’ve been to therapy, you may pick up a thing or two just by reading these responses. Scroll through, and hopefully, you do take something valuable with you.
This post may include affiliate links.
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
"When I first read your file I thought for sure I'd see a long history of dysfunctional relationships, violent crime and prison time. Instead you've managed to turn into a relatively normal person. I see 5 different traumas from your childhood, any one of which would be enough to have derailed the life of most people. The fact that you're relatively normal is actually a testament to you as a good person."
Made me cry. Hard to say to people "sure I'm messed up, but at least I deserve some credit for not being anywhere near as messed up as I could be" and have them understand. It was nice to be seen and understood by someone.
Icy-Computer-Poop
ADVERTISEMENT
"unspoken expectations of others are just future resentments"
Edit: This quote suggesting that you stop expecting things from others. It just means that if you do have expectations of others it's your responsibility to make the other person aware of them.
For example. If you expect your husband to clean the dishes after you've cooked dinner but you never voice those expectations to him then eventually you will resent him for not doing it. People need to be taught how we would like them to be our friends. Then it's up to them if they want to do those things are not.
LethalMindNinja
ADVERTISEMENT
“When you stop making yourself small, some people will no longer fit in your life.”
gethee2anunnery
Therapist: “If you were my client while you were a minor i would have absolutely called child services.”
Me: “What? Why? They weren’t perfect, but it’s not like they were abusing me.”
Therapist (after a brief pause): “Not all abuse leaves bruises that others can see.”
LinkGoesHIYAAA
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
“They’ll get over it.” We were discussing setting boundaries, and how hard it was for me to say no. People would be mad if I said no, I told her. “So?” she said. “They’ll be mad.” When I just stared at her, not comprehending, she went on with that pearl of wisdom: they’ll get over it. I thought of all the times I’d been upset with people and had had to get over it, and realized she was right. Even the person whose anger I feared the most would get over it, in time. The first time I said no was hard. I fretted about it and the other person’s reaction for a while. It got easier, though, and now I have no trouble at all.
Bookworm1254
Today my therapist spoke out loud to the “part” of me that is depression, thanked it for doing its best to keep me safe, but that it’s time for a new job now because we’re healing now. We’re working on what that job could be. Maybe reminding me to rest.
pinkyhooker
ADVERTISEMENT
She made(asked) me sit at a park and look at the children at a playground and asked me how could I at that age of done anything to deserve the abuse. I was in a space where I felt I was to blame somehow. I will never forget my rage at realizing I was a baby.
Drewswife0302
This helped me with my mother
She said just because she said it doesn't mean it's true
That set me free
WillingnessFit8317
ADVERTISEMENT
Would you speak to your son the way you talk to yourself?
Random_Khaos
ADVERTISEMENT
That child that was never loved or acknowledged is still waiting, not on your parents but on you. You are her parent now. Will you ignore her, not love her, not value her, and not find her worthy as well? You decide if she thrives or survives. Your parents let her down. Will you do the same?
Dry-Willingness948
The path the nerves laid out for the original pain are well worn highways now. The most minor stimulation in the area will send a small message down this huge highway and make you think it hurts more than it does.
You can train your brain to realize this is happening and practice your mind into believing the pain isn’t as bad as it is, because it really isn’t.
Realistic-Most-5751
ADVERTISEMENT
"Have you ever considered maybe you're not very good at your job?" She was right. Found a new career.
Muted-Tie-159
Your over functioning is allowing their under functioning. In relation to my kids and what I was asking them to do around the house. She asked me if I wanted to release adults into the world who were under functioning humans. Nope! Next day started with chores and responsibilities and everyone is happier
Tasty-Lunch2060
ADVERTISEMENT
So I was doing behaviroal therapy after I dropped out of college and was listing all the accumulated trauma in my life wich prevents me from motivating myself from doing anything.
My therapist looked at me for a few silent seconds and said "that sounds like a great excuse for being lazy and smoking weed all day"
Turned out I really needed to here that hard truth from someone who was otherwise a very kind and empathetic individual.
It made me realize that I couldn't honor the loss of a loved one by being a lethargic bum and gave me the strength to snap out of my (psychological) weed addiction.
mrmoerkel
“You’re whole life you had to fight to prove yourself to the people around you and now you’re just tired”
daydreaming-g
They challenged me to answer why I kept getting into relationships with people who are likely to be enter a co-dependent relationship with me (bad mental health, physical health issues ect). I ended up coming to the conclusion that it’s easier to avoid having to deal with my own issues if I spend my time dealing with somebody else’s.
Antoxic
ADVERTISEMENT
“Your self confidence will fluctuate day to day, maybe even minute to minute. That’s transient. But what doesn’t fluctuate is your knowledge, your training, your intelligence and intellect. Those things stay consistent and improve with time. Don’t put too much stock in your self confidence being a measure of how competent you are. Trust in the other things that are consistent and concrete.”
exile_zero
I recently turned 37. About 2 years ago, I started therapy for one reason, but we migrated to my anxiety and depression.
One day, my therapist told me about breathing techniques... which I knew about. But she had a child patient who would say, "smell the flowers... blow out the candles..." as in, breathe in through your nose and out of your mouth. It was the sweetest thing... it also makes me wonder where this little girl is now since she was in therapy at such a young age. I hope she's doing better. I never met her, just heard this one story... but I think of her often and want all the good things for her. 💜
hook-echo
ADVERTISEMENT
Not my therapist, but my psychiatrist: "There's nothing I can prescribe you to make your job not suck."
Also: "I got my first 1-star review recently, and I thought of you."
parvoqueen
That I’m a narcissist. It really helped bring it to light and made it easier to make choices that don’t align with that and helped me be a better person.
txharleyrider
One thing a therapist once said to me that I’ll never forget is: “You’re allowed to feel how you feel, even if you don’t have all the answers right now.” It stuck with me because I often felt the need to immediately fix or rationalize my emotions instead of just sitting with them. That statement made me realize it’s okay to not have everything figured out and that emotions themselves are valid, even without clear explanations. It was freeing to understand that I didn’t need to solve everything at once.
nontas1995
ADVERTISEMENT
When I get overwhelmed I get this lump in my throat that feels like it makes me physically unable to speak. I started to get that feeling, and my therapist goes “what’s this? What do you feel here?” And pointed to the bottom of her throat where I have that physical feeling. And it was mind blowing that someone could just see it and understand what I was feeling without me having to say anything. It’s always been so hard to explain my whole life.
Total-Background8472
I told him: "*I'm a good boyfriend, I'm a good employee, I'm a good friend, and I'm a good son. If I can be great at those things, I feel like I would be much happier.*"
He responded: "*A good boyfriend is what you are to your partner, a good employee is what you are to your boss, a good friend is what you are to your friends, and a good son is what you are to your parents. What are you to yourself?"*
Completely changed my perspective on life. I had been so caught up in pleasing everyone around me, that I lost myself in the process.
NoFunction_
ADVERTISEMENT
You've come a long way since we met. You used to have your hair over your eyes and never made eye contact. Bless you Helen.
equal_poop
“you didn’t deserve what you went through as a child and you also don’t deserve to blame yourself for things that happen that are out of your control” burst into tears hearing that
Agitated-Mechanic602
“Your mind is not your boss; you are the boss of your mind!”
Stunning_Leader3151
I'd been struggling with depression and got referred to a psychiatrist, who didn't really help, all he sort of discovered was a mild fear of flying. After about 6 months, I stopped going. A few months later, still down quite a bit, I went to a councilor - she nailed it in 10 minutes.
She said - You blame your mother for your parents splitting up.
I nearly fell over when I realized she was right.
BinkySmales
ADVERTISEMENT
Paraphrasing as I can't remember the exact wording so much as the fact that I was surprised to see her crying after I finished telling her why I was there: "You just sound so defeated, like you've given up." I was in high school.
Fun fact: I don't remember the incident itself, but I do remember this happening on one other occasion with a different therapist and thinking "I can't believe this has happened to me twice now." (this = witnessing a therapist/counselor crying while I'm awkwardly sitting in their office)
Lammergeieur
“You don’t have x, you have y, and that’s a great thing because x means a lifetime of meds, with y- we can work on it. It’ll be bloody difficult, but we can work on things”
kruznkiwi
My most recent therapist: "You're the smartest patient I have, and I'm not sure that's a good thing."
My first therapist though, she was the best. During my first appointment I kinda gave my childhood overview, and at one point she stopped me and went: "...wait wait wait. You're telling me all this, and NO ONE ever told you to go to therapy before?" I was 26 years old and had a really rough childhood emotionally from about the age of six. My folks had a super messy divorce that f****d me up for a while, and my dad didn't "believe in therapy." As he would say later: "I thought if you didn't talk about it then you wouldn't think about it."
WilcoLovesYou
ADVERTISEMENT
Your husband is a narcissist and you should leave him. I ended up divorcing him within two years of our marriage.
InstructionMaster536
She said "most of the problems that exist between couples revolve around differing, uncommunicated expectations of the future"
I find it's very accurate.
NaboosTurban
My couples counselor when I was doing out 1 on 1 session.
In reference to me stating that I was scared to leave because I thought I couldn't find better. Aka someone who wouldn't abuse me, essentially.
"Her being nice to you, caring for your family, and then that's where it ends, is the bare minimum. You absolutely will find that again, and you deserve to want more."
avendac
She asked me if I missed family. I responded with “you can’t miss something you never had”
She replied with, “tell that to the little girl inside of you”
No_Interaction_1611
ADVERTISEMENT
About my boss who was awful: “When you have to speak with her face-to-face, picture her with enormous yellow clown shoes.”
That advice helped me for two years until I found a better job.
AnitaIvanaMartini
My therapist accidentally word for word said my definition of love to me without realizing it when pressed for time at the end of a session and trying to explain how to love myself properly. honestly changed my life. made me realize that i wasnt caring for myself as much as I would even a stranger.
OgClaytonymous
Once during a crisis i had a therapist literally pour me a glass of wine before noon.
isittheendofTime
"just because everyone in your class pretends to be depressed, that doesn't mean you have to pretend to be depressed too"
Little-Ad-9192
ADVERTISEMENT
“It’s good to know where you’re at. But it’s even better to know that deep down you have the power to change” it hasn’t happened yet, but I’m trying!
retrosnot86
Just today she said "It sounds like you're doing a lot of the hard work on your own. You've been through a lot and you're still trying and I'm in awe of that."
Didamit
You only have to worry about the NEXT right thing. One decision at a time.
No_Bluejay2707
Ic_puzzle