Yes, Guys, You Need a Tuxedo

10

The first time I wore a tuxedo was to my senior prom. I rented it from one of the three tux rental shops in my town. I looked, well, ridiculous. Not ridiculous. I looked fine. But my skinny teenager’s arms were swimming in the tuxedo’s wide sleeves, and despite trying on literally every tux they had in my size in an attempt to get one that actually fit my body, the overall effect was still more zoot suit than 007.

Whatever. It was one night. And I was just a kid. I had a great time at prom — I went with a friend who got her dress at Caché, which was was pretty much the height of sophistication for Albuquerque, NM at the time — and the next day I returned my rented tuxedo to the warehouse for fumigation and re-circulation.

Years went by in which I had absolutely no need of a tux. Then, one day in New York, as I was perusing a Miu Miu sample sale, I saw a size 36 men’s tuxedo hanging in a corner. Miu Miu had stopped making menswear a few years earlier and this definitely looked like something custom. It was almost too slim for even my waifish body, but I bought it anyway. I had to have it. Even though I had absolutely nowhere to wear it.

Then the funniest thing happened: I got invited to a black tie event. Then another. The first year I had that tuxedo, I wore it three times. Yet, when I outgrew it, I didn’t get another one. And just like that… the formal event invites stopped too. It was weird. Not that I really ran in the kinds of circles where formal events were common, but I’d been to quite a few since I bought that Miu Miu tux and now… nothing.

Fast forward another 10 years and a friend invited me to a black tie event as his guest. I went to Bonobos and got a tuxedo on the cheap(ish). It was a vast improvement over the one I got from the rental place, though not nearly as cool as the one from Miu Miu. Classic, though. As a good tuxedo should be (especially if you are only going to own one).

I went with my friend to his event and then, just like the last time, suddenly I found myself getting invited to lots of formal events. It was like having the tuxedo made opportunities to wear the tuxedo actually appear. I mean, I don’t believe in manifestation or anything, but if I did, this would seem to me like a kind of fashion manifestation. Buy the clothes and the opportunities to wear them will present themselves.

I wore that tuxedo for years. And as my body changed, I had it let out as much as possible in order to avoid having to buy another one. Eventually, though, I had to give it up. Lifting weights during the pandemic made me too big to even get my arms through the sleeve holes anymore. So, I donated it to Housing Works and, just like before… the opportunities to wear it dried up.

Fast forward another few years and I found myself, once again, invited to a formal event — the Breast Cancer Research Fund’s annual gala with a special performance by Elton John. Well, time to get another tuxedo! But this time I wanted something nicer. Something more refined. Classic, yes, but more elegant than what I’d had before. More grown up.

When you go to a lot of formal events, you start to clock the differences between a good tuxedo and a cheap one. It’s not just the fit, it’s the fabric, the fabrication, the details — the way the sleeve lies or the finishing of the buttons. This time around I wanted a good tuxedo. A really good one.

I thought about my dad. He didn’t own a tuxedo — there were no situations that mandated them where I grew up, and if such an occasion had arisen, he would have worn his Navy dress uniform. But he was a very formal guy. He wore a suit practically every day of my life. Even on the weekends. Even on vacation. “It’s tropical weight wool!” he would say. And he got all his suits (and everything else he wore) from the same place: Brooks Brothers.

“There is nothing more classic than a Brooks Brothers suit,” he used to tell me. “When you wear one, you feel different and people treat you differently.”

I rolled my eyes at that as a kid, but I also saw the way people reacted to my dad when he walked into the room in his dark blue Brooks Brothers suit. The deference was real.

So I decided to go to Brooks Brothers. I went to the store in FiDi (195 Broadway, near World Trade Plaza) because they have a big selection there and I didn’t have a lot of time.

The tuxedo I chose was classic, but where past tuxedos of mine had satin — on the lapels and down the sides of the trousers — this one had grosgrain, which made it feel more understated. More elegant.

I chose a classic tuxedo shirt and a white cotton pique bowtie (not pre-tied, although they had that option). I also picked up a set of sterling sliver gold plated knot cuff links with matching studs.

The on-site tailor came in to pin the jacket and mark where things needed to be let down (sleeves and cuffs) and taken in (waist). They even opened up the arms a little to better accommodate my biceps and smooth out the drape from the shoulder. They asked if I was happy with the length of the jacket and I considered having it taken up half an inch, but decided it was fine.

A few days later, I came back to try on the finished product. It was perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more dapper. And at the event the following night I received multiple compliments. In a sea of men in black tuxedos, I was getting complimented on my own black tuxedo. By people I didn’t even know.

If my father was still alive he’d probably say, “well of course they complimented you; you were wearing Brooks Brothers.” And I would laugh and roll my eyes, but the fact is I was wearing Brooks Brothers. And if the past is any indication, I suspect I will be presented with many more opportunities to wear my new Brooks Brothers tuxedo in the months and years to come.

But do you really need  a tuxedo, guys? Yes. Or rather, if you have one, I suspect the world will present you with chances to wear it. And do you have to get it at Brooks Brothers? No. But I’ve gone the cheaper route (Bonobos) and I’ve gone the fashion route (Miu Miu) and this new tuxedo is easily my favorite. And you don’t have to get one exactly like mine. They have options — I briefly considered getting an off-white diner jacket instead of a black tuxedo jacket, but I know I cannot be trusted to keep something like that clean — but not so many that you would get overwhelmed. Or risk making an unflattering choice.

And if you want something truly special, they do custom made-to-order suits and tuxedos that are really on a whole other level (and not nearly as expensive as you might expect).

Maybe I’ll do that next time. My dad would have loved that.