Is the thumbs-up emoji actually rude?

Some people said that the thumbs-up emoji is definitely passive-aggressive, basically just another way of saying that you are not interested in continuing the conversation. Or, better still, an emoji version of "whatever." But many others believe that it is extremely convenient.

In Short

• Thumbs-up emoji seen as rude or passive-aggressive by many
• Context matters: okay at work, rude among close friends
• Psychologists say interpretation depends on emotional state and context

So, picture this. You are in the middle of an intense conversation, or a debate for that matter, with your best friend. While either of you may have arrived at a conclusion, they respond with a thumbs-up emoji.

There you go. That’s it.

“So rude,” is probably what might come to your mind. They could have said “ok” or “okay” (that’s a debate for another day), at least. Or, better still, that typical response, “hmmmm,” that almost every second person on the face of this earth hates.

Because, as Deepika Padukone’s Piku said in the iconic 2015 film, who even responds with a “hmmm”?

But okay, “hmmm” is still a better response than a thumbs-up emoji because it is at least a response. Is it or is it not?

Emojis were introduced to minimise communication and make it instant. But when it comes to the thumbs-up emoji, Gen Z, millennials, as well as people in their late 50s and 60s, have often perceived it in a different manner altogether.

Some people said that it is definitely passive-aggressive, basically just another way of saying that you are not interested in continuing the conversation. Or, better still, an emoji version of “whatever.” But many others believe that it is extremely convenient.

“I find thumbs-up emojis extremely convenient rather than rude or passive-aggressive. Already the world is too difficult - what is the need to complicate simple things that already have such a simple meaning, like thumbs-up emoji? It literally makes it just so quick to reply, understandable, and helps in making communication way easier,” Paridhi Kashyap, an 18-year-old student based in Delhi, told India Today Digital.

Then there is another angle to it. Some people said that they do not like the thumbs-up emoji at all but, ironically, end up using it themselves at times. For many, however, context really matters when it comes to this particular response.

Vaishnavi Parashar, a 29-year-old media professional, said that the thumbs-up emoji depends on where the conversation is happening. At work, it works, but with a friend, it absolutely doesn’t.

“In a professional setting, I don’t mind it as such, especially when it comes from a senior. But if I have a bond with someone, I would say it’s kind of rude. It’s a very if-and-but situation for me. I’m okay with it, but I’m not happy seeing it. Basically, it doesn’t make me super happy. If you go through my texts with close friends, you’ll find all the emojis, but not the thumbs-up one. It creeps me out sometimes, especially when a friend sends it,” Vaishnavi said.

Amrit Mukherjee, a 26-year-old filmmaker based in Kolkata, feels similarly about the importance of context, saying that the meaning of a thumbs-up emoji really depends on who is sending it.

“I don’t find a thumbs-up emoji from someone senior to me rude. Of course, I might prefer an ‘okay’ or something else, but I get it. When someone my age, who understands the internet language, sends a thumbs-up, I read it differently. It can feel like forced acceptance, passive aggression, or ‘I don’t really want to, but fine.’ And honestly, I use thumbs-up emojis like that too. Sometimes it means ‘good job’ sarcastically. Sometimes it simply means ‘noted’. It doesn’t necessarily mean ‘you are right’, is what I feel,” Amrit said.

While Amrit and Vaishnavi are okay with using the thumbs-up emoji at work, Delhi-based soft-skills and behaviour refinement trainer Pria Warrick is of the opinion that it should be avoided in professional communication because it can make a conversation feel abrupt.

As far as the generation gap, so to speak, when it comes to the emoji is concerned, Pria added, “Older people may not realise that the thumbs-up emoji can be perceived negatively. They may use it simply to acknowledge a message or indicate agreement. Younger people, particularly Gen Z and millennials, may interpret it differently, especially in professional conversations, where it can come across as abrupt, dismissive or even offensive.”

But is the older generation okay with the thumbs-up emoji?

Rajeev Talwar, a 58-year-old resident of Delhi, said that thumbs-up is his go-to emoji: “I use the thumbs-up all the time. For me, it just means okay, got it, or sounds good. I don’t really think twice about it. I was actually surprised when my daughter told me that some younger people find it passive-aggressive. To me, it’s always just been a simple way of saying, ‘Sure, no problem’.”

On the other hand, Kolkata-based Nibedita Dutta, 62, said that the emoji is downright rude.

“Thumbs-up emoji is, in my opinion, rude. It’s as if the person is least interested in extending the conversation but feels they have to say something or react, so they do it for the sake of it. I prefer when the person makes an effort to at least send a one-line reply. It shows that my previous message is worth at least a few seconds of their time, because it does not take that much time,” she said.

So, you more or less have an idea of what the young and old think of this emoji. But what about psychologists?

Dipanshi Singh, a counselling psychologist based in Delhi, believes that the thumbs-up emoji can mean different things to different people. It might even come across as rude or passive-aggressive based on the situation.

“But I don’t think the emoji itself is really the problem. A lot of it comes down to how we deal with ambiguity when we’re communicating digitally. As humans, we naturally tend to notice negative information more than neutral or positive information, what psychologists call the negativity bias. So when we’re not quite sure what someone means, our brain tries to fill in the blanks. And if we’re already irritated, anxious or frustrated, we’re probably more likely to fill those blanks with a negative interpretation,” Dipanshi said.

Face-to-face conversations offer several cues, such as expressions, tone, body language and pauses, that help people understand the emotion behind a response. Texting, however, strips away much of that context, leaving people to interpret emotions through words, punctuation and emojis.

“A thumbs-up doesn’t really have one fixed meaning. Its meaning comes from everything around it - the context, the relationship between the people, the intention behind it and how it’s received,” she said, adding that the larger issue was the loss of emotional nuance when human communication is compressed into a few words, punctuation marks and emojis.

Dr Kapil Kumar Singhal, Director, Neurology, Neurosciences, Medanta Noida, also pointed out that our emotional state can influence how we interpret and react to the same emoji in different situations.

“Our emotional state can further shape how strongly we react. The same emoji may feel different after an argument than during a friendly conversation. Ultimately, perception is not always intention, so pausing and considering context can prevent unnecessary misunderstandings,” he said.

So, what did you conclude after reading about what people, psychologists and an etiquette coach said about the thumbs-up emoji?

Well, you can decide whether the emoji is rude or completely harmless. But decide carefully, and don’t just respond to this with a thumbs-up emoji.

- Ends