20 Good Parenting Lessons on How Kids Learned About Life Skills, Money, Self-Care, Responsibility and Kindness at Home

A study by Elizabeth M. White, Mark D. DeBoer and Rebecca J. Scharf in the Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics followed 9,971 children from kindergarten to third grade. The kids who did more chores in kindergarten rated their social skills, academic abilities and life satisfaction higher in third grade, an association the researchers say doesn’t prove cause and effect. Responsibility starts at home, and so do money habits, self-care and kindness.
Penn State Extension adds that children learn the most about money by watching how their parents handle it. With school routines settled and holiday shopping only weeks away, this is the season those lessons show up: a kid pays at the register for the first time, packs their own lunch, or gets handed a chore and does it badly. Here are 20 real parenting lessons on how kids learned life skills, money habits, responsibility and kindness at home, and what the parents learned right back.

My daughter asked me why we don’t have as much money as her friend’s family. “Mom, are we poor?” she asked. I said, “Probably,” and laughed. I sat down with her and showed her our actual budget. Then she said, “So when I leave the lights on, that’s real money?” I said yes.

She stared at the page for a second, then said, “Okay. So we’re a team.” She ran to her room and came back with an empty peanut butter jar and a marker. On the front she wrote, in her wobbliest letters, PIZZA FRIDAY FUND.

She turns off the lights now, and she checks the hallway every night like a tiny landlord. Whatever she figures we save goes in the jar. A quarter here, a dollar there, and a few more when she checks a book out of the library instead of buying one at the school book fair. After five weeks the jar had $31 in it.

Last Friday she carried it to our pizza place herself and counted out the coins at the register, one at a time, while the cashier waited. She picked the table by the window. “This is the best pizza I’ve ever had,” she told me with her mouth full. I decided not to mention it’s the same place we always go. She’s already working on the next jar. It says Trampoline Park, and she’s given herself until spring.

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• If you have a $500 available balance on a credit card and spend $100. You now owe $100. NOT you still have $400 to spend. © audioear / Reddit
• Hard emotions will pass and you shouldn’t fight your emotions when you feel them. © sinornithosaurus1000 / Reddit
• I will allow my kids more privacy but really stress the consequences of their actions. Also I’d try to never lie to them, finding out your parents lie to you is the worst. © Reddit
• You don’t have to finish all of the food on your plate. © alexfbus / Reddit
• It’s okay to not go to a 4-year college. What matters is finding a job you like doing that can pay a livable salary. © SleepyConscience / Reddit

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• It’s okay if she’s full and doesn’t want to eat any more, even if she hasn’t eaten as much as I know she can. Alternative food will be offered or, being a baby, she can just have a bigger bottle later on. If she just doesn’t like the food, that’s fine because she’s a human being but I’ll encourage her to try new things and praise her for doing it. I won’t threaten or shame her into it though. © Impossible_Disk_43 / Reddit
• To be open and honest with us. I got in trouble for everything growing up so I learned to lie really well and it became a habit that I had to really work to break. I also hid some things from my parents that, now that I’m a parent, the idea my kids couldn’t tell me about it terrifies me.
  With our kids, if they’re honest, at most they get a “talk” about how that’s not ok or whatever. The only time they really get in trouble is if they lie. We may have to change up the strategy when they get into teenage years, but so far I think it’s working. © Quinnamon / Reddit
• When my son starts behaving in a new and difficult way, I do my best to figure out what’s motivating it rather than trying to fix it. This empathetic approach helps me work with him to deal with what is really frustrating or bothering him and makes it easier to let certain things slide. © Unknown author / Reddit
• Financial responsibility. From the time I was like 5 years old I had a “bank account” my father kept for me. I earned allowance, money for other chores, and interest. My parents rarely bought me anything beyond necessities except for birthdays and holidays. If I wanted a $100 PlayStation, I could either save my $5 weekly allowance for 5 months or do extra chores to save up quicker.
  As an adult, it amazes me how many people have 0 ability to budget and plan out their finances when it’s something I’ve been doing since I started elementary school. © Dragnil / Reddit
• Always read before signing anything. Always pay back what you borrow. © pakidara / Reddit

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• Reading is super-important and should be embraced and mastered as early as possible. © jasontredecim / Reddit
• My mom read to me from a young age and kept doing it even until I was in 1st or 2nd grade. I think it’s a big part of why I always had very high reading comprehension scores, which allowed me to learn easily. So I’ll definitely be passing on the importance of reading skill to my kids.
  As far as life skills, probably staying out of debt. My parents are very anti-debt, and I’m glad that seems to be a growing thing in general. I’ll be making sure my kids have debt-free college so they aren’t handicapped from the start. © tkdyo / Reddit
• When I was a kid, my parents taught me the value of money and of hard work. When I was 8, I had a long-term savings account and a college fund, and by the time I was 12, I was working for money to buy almost every non-necessity. My mother also taught me that hard work was essential for life, to work hard at any job you have.
  The final thing was that she taught me to stay off electronics and to better your life with other stuff. I spent so much time outside doing stuff, and I’m very grateful for that. © BaseballCJ22 / Reddit
• I taught my son how to play tabletop games. Not just the rules, the whole thing: taking turns, playing with respect, learning how to be a good sport in both winning and losing, etc. It’s a great way to have fun without a screen. © Unknown author / Reddit
• My grandparents raised me. So they were my mom and dad. They came from a different time. They taught me everything from sewing and cooking to how to drive. It was the best time. And I miss them so much. © FlyByNight1383 / Reddit

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• My dad taught me how to build things. He was a blue collar worker and his friends were blue collar. When my parents added on to our house, I got to help. The carpenters were friends of the family and very patient with me. As a grown-up, I’ve built three houses by myself, so I guess I learned a lot. © Illustrious-Gas-9766 / Reddit
• When I had a question, even if they knew the answer, the response was, “Let’s look it up!” and we went to the encyclopedias. © bendistraw / Reddit
• My mom taught me how to cook several things without an actual written recipe. I remember standing beside her in the kitchen watching her cook. Two things that come to mind are gravy and cornbread. She would involve me in the cooking process so that I would learn how to do it on my own. She also taught me how to sew, do laundry, apply makeup, and just basic life skills.
  My dad taught me how to change my oil and my tires so I would never have to depend on a man to do it for me. © kygal1881 / Reddit
• My dad taught me to braid hair with pine needles. It was perfect bc pine needles have three strands. My mom did my hair regularly, but my dad taught me to braid. © guilty1here / Reddit

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How did you teach your kids about kindness? We’d love to hear what worked for your family.

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