Is Gratitude Overrated?

Five surprising ways that expressing gratitude can shape your relationships.

Reviewed by Davia Sills

Key points

• For most people, gratitude offers a low-risk, high-reward strategy for enhancing their quality of life.
• Feelings of thankfulness get stronger with practice and can awaken a sense of justice.
• In family relationships, gratitude can spark a virtuous cycle that benefits everyone.

Gratitude is a staple of self-help advice and holiday platitudes, but does it really deliver the benefits it promises? As searches on the topic of gratitude surge each November, many wonder how thankfulness influences well-being and relationships—and whether it’s worth the effort to cultivate. The answer, as research shows, is a resounding “yes,” but with nuances worth exploring.

1. Gratitude Enhances Well-Being (But Not Always)

Feeling grateful is more than a fleeting warm glow—it’s a scientifically validated mood booster. Research consistently shows that gratitude correlates with and even causes a stronger sense of well-being. For example, experiments reveal that participants who practice thankfulness report increased happiness, lower stress, and even improved physical health.

However, gratitude’s effectiveness depends on the context. For individuals grappling with certain mental health challenges or extreme adversity, the effects can be muted or inconsistent. Still, for most people, fostering a habit of gratitude offers a low-risk, high-reward strategy for enhancing their quality of life.

2. Gratitude Gets Stronger With Practice

Like a muscle, gratitude grows with consistent effort. Studies indicate that individuals who already feel thankful experience even greater boosts to their well-being when engaging in gratitude exercises. In other words, gratitude builds on itself: The more you practice, the easier and more effective it becomes.

Consider starting a daily gratitude journal or pausing at the end of the day to reflect on moments of kindness or beauty. The cumulative effects may surprise you.

3. Thankfulness Awakens a Sense of Justice

Feeling thankful doesn’t just improve personal well-being—it also sharpens our moral compass. In a fascinating series of experiments, researchers found that people primed to feel gratitude were more likely to donate to causes linked to justice, such as the ACLU, compared to those primed for other emotions, like compassion.

This aligns with centuries-old philosophical views: Medieval scholastics considered gratitude a “sub-virtue” of justice. Feeling thankful prompts us to acknowledge what is due to others, encouraging us to act fairly and generously.

4. Gratitude Makes Us More Generous and Cooperative

Gratitude has a social superpower: It makes us more likely to prioritize collective well-being over personal gain. In an economic experiment, participants who were induced to feel grateful made larger monetary contributions to benefit the community, even when they would not directly know or benefit from helping the recipients.

This finding underscores gratitude’s role in fostering prosocial behaviors, such as generosity and cooperation. If you’ve ever felt compelled to pay it forward after experiencing an act of kindness, you’ve experienced gratitude’s ripple effect.

5. In Family Relationships, Gratitude Sparks a Virtuous Cycle

In close relationships, gratitude isn’t just a one-off benefit—it fuels a self-reinforcing cycle of positivity. Expressing gratitude to a partner or family member reinforces the bond between giver and receiver, encouraging both parties to repeat behaviors that sustain the relationship.

Interestingly, gratitude doesn’t diminish one’s own sense of pride. Instead, it highlights the mutual contributions that strengthen a shared sense of responsibility within the family. For instance, thanking a partner for their help in a stressful situation acknowledges their efforts while reinforcing the idea that you are in this together.

The Takeaway: Gratitude Is a Win-Win Practice

As the holiday season prompts reflection, remember that gratitude isn’t just about appreciating what you have—it’s about connecting with others, fostering justice, and building stronger relationships. Whether you practice gratitude through journaling, verbal expressions, or acts of kindness, the benefits extend far beyond yourself.

So, is gratitude overrated? Hardly. It’s a cornerstone of personal and social well-being. As you gather with loved ones or take time for self-reflection, lean into thankfulness—not just as a feel-good moment but as a way to deepen your connections and contribute to a better world.

Happy holidays, and may your season be filled with gratitude, both given and received.